On Monday, May 13th we will be at the anniversary of Gregg's passing.  It's been a surreal year.  We still find it almost impossible to believe that he is gone.  The children and I talk about him and about our grief often and quite openly.  I'm aware that the subject of grief makes many people uncomfortable.  We seldom know what to say or even if we should mention that person's name.  Our family has learned through this experience that saying Gregg's name and talking about him, keeps him more vivid in our minds... the ability to almost feel his presence.  Vivid memories are wonderful gifts you can give to someone who has lost a loved one - simply by mentioning their name.

Thank you to those who sent cards this week and thank you to those who keep in touch with us regularly.  Your kinship means so much to me and to our family.  I'm sure that each touch you've  made put a smile on Gregg's face.

We all cope in our own private way.  Millie had the most challenging time.  If you can imagine that grieving is difficult for us as adults and for a young child it's almost impossible to know how to grieve.  Millie sees a therapist to help her with coping mechanisms.  Immediately following Gregg's death, she would not let any of her immediate family out of her site.  She wanted us all together in one room.  She kept Gregg's prayer cards under her pillow and would talk to him every chance she had.  Most recently, she inquired about his ashes.  We told her that we had a vault at Mount St. Mary's columbarium and we would take her granddad's ashes there.  She requested to keep some of his ashes at home because she "needed to have some of her granddad at home with her."  I think Millie had no understanding that Gregg was ill.  It was a simple, loving relationship that existed between them from the minute she was born.  We're sure her granddad watches over her every day.

Many of you will remember that I gave the eulogy at Gregg's funeral.  My neighbor reminds me from time to time that it was 20 minutes long.  What he doesn't understand is that I knew that the minute I stopped talking, Gregg would really be gone.  I thought I would end this journal by copying the last minute or two of my eulogy here on this site. 

"At the end of every day - whether Gregg was well or in the throes of his illness - Gregg was my destination and I was his.  There is not enough time nor words to describe my husband, so I will leave you with this:

Gregg was a man of great faith - and he lived it every day.  He set a good example for others.  He loved without limits.  He was an understated gentleman who held no grudges.  He looked outward to see what he could do to help others - never inward- never how he might benefit himself.  He strived to be a better person every day of his life.  He was a man of great understanding - he was authentic - no airs about him.  He was a young boy from western Maryland who felt genuinely blessed to have the education that he had, to have the career that he loved, to have the good fortune to serve Mount St. Mary's University and other charitable and educational boards.  He believed in the goodness of others - and especially in his family.  He believed that each of you had inherent goodness, great intelligence, a strong work ethic and a loving heart.  He did not want to leave us but his time came much too early.

I implore each of you to hold the hand of those you love.  Be forgiving.  Be fun. Take time to give that extra kiss and a tighter hug.  Tell them you love them more often.  Be kind.  Be grateful.  Like Gregg, make them coffee or turn on the love channel.  Leave this world tomorrow better than it is today.  That's what Gregg did and I love him for it."