I hate to even say this aloud, or type it, because as I'm doing such, I'm feeling defeated. I had to stop my MTX, not by choice, trust me deeply on that statement. But because the Doctor front isn't going so well. My Immunologist, in my opinion, needs medical training so I've been very reluctant to go back to see him. My Pulmonary Doc showed her ugly head when she compromised my health, no,  my life actually with a medical decision that a five year old wouldn't concur with. I should be seeing Cardiology, however I've not made that appt as of yet and my Eye specialist. Nope. "Carla.. If u don't see me regularly, or use the eye drops 3x a day you WILL go blind" .. Yet here we sit. I wish I had a great answer as to why this is my current behavior other than fear. If I'm not having 3 appts a week or a million tests then this isn't really happening right? Yea that's my thought. Get my big girl pants on and keep moving. 

Until next time