Since the last update Dad grew progressively worse physically, but experienced very little pain. He was almost completely off of pain medication and only using his medical marijuana. Mom was also giving him a supplement of iron and a Chinese herb of which I cannot recall the name. His mind was good until the last day or so. On tuesday we all got the call that it was time to come home and that hospice figured Dad had two days to two weeks. We had all arrived by Wednesday evening. I walked into the bedroom to see him and he was sleeping. Mom roused him enough that he opened one eye and looked at me. I don’t know if he recognized me. Later that night Chris, Gerry, and I were in the bedroom again and his gaze passed between the three of us. He said, “I’m missing someone....Josie...” I said, “Dad, I’m right here. You’re missing Marianne, she’ll be here in a little bit.” He seemed satisfied with this answer and went back to sleep. Marianne came in and I think she was able to get a few words with him.

On Wednesday Dad was up for a lot longer than we would have expected. We wheeled him around in his wheel chair and he took naps. Gerry and Chris started working on a pine casket. Dad has so much wood in the barn and Mom requested that they build one. This might seem like an odd task to assign the sons of their dying father, but if you know my mother, you’d not be surprised! They found some plans and set to work on hand crafting their first casket. She said she felt a little uneasy about asking them to do it, but felt better about it when she walked out to the barn to check on them and heard them laughing. Working with wood must be therapeutic. When it was finished, Wendy (Gene’s grandaughter) and I sanded it down. Mom decided she like the natural pine look and smell so we did not stain it. Marianne weaved rope together for handles and Bucky drilled holes and secured them. We picked out some plaid fabric from the sewing closet and Mom lined the casket with it. She found some dark green fabric for a pillowcase. Chris, Gene’s grandson, made a cross out cherry for the lid of Dad’s casket. The finished project is perfectly fitting and appropriate for Dad.

Thursday Dad was awake during the day for longer than he has been awake since before his diagnosis in June. We put him in the wheelchair and he watched everyone doing various chores; the boys chopping wood, Marianne weaving rope for the casket, Denise cooking in the kitchen, Mom washing Grandma’s hair, and so much more. He didn’t say much but he seemed to be taking it all in. At one point we were looking for tongue oil for wood and Mom asked him if he knew where it was. He looked like he was thinking, and then a few minutes later he answered that it was in the basement. Father Francis came and gave Dad the anointing of the sick out on the back deck. My daughter Willa was playing with playdoh and Father was going through all the prayers. Right in the middle of it Dad interrupted, “Watch out for your head, honey!” Because Willa was about to smack it off the tile table when she picked up something she dropped. Through the day, to our amazement, Dad was able to eat some watermelon and pumpkin pie and drink water. I think he even had a sip of coffee in the morning. Thursday night Marianne fed him some pumpkin pie. Then he asked for something else. She rattled off a few options, and he surprisingly picked ham!

The next two days he grew steadily worse. He kept wanting to get up but it was probably just a sign that the end was near. We did the best we could to keep him comfortable. His breathing seemed to become pretty labored at times, and he was very restless. The family took turns making sure he was okay and spending time just sitting quietly with him. Thursday and Saturday night we said a family rosary in his bedroom. On Friday, Marianne and I said a rosary at his bedside and his eyes darted back and forth the whole time looking at we don’t know what. At some point on Saturday his restlessness ceased and he went into a coma-like state. I think by the time we said goodnight to him on Saturday that we all were praying that he would pass peacefully; that his suffering in this life would be over. 

And so, this morning at 4:15am Dad passed peacefully in his sleep. Mom got up to give him a bit of morphine and after a little while she noticed he grew quiet before he drew a few shallow breaths. Then he was gone. Mom called hospice and they came right away and helped us get him cleaned up and dressed. Hospice has been so good through this process, we couldn’t have done it without them. 

Now I am sitting in the living room listening to Dad’s grandkids talking about the slideshow Wendy created for the reception. I like to think he’s looking from above and pleased to see his family gathered. We have him laid out in the office surrounded by photos and flowers cut from the yard, so we can go in a see him at any time we want. It’s been a hard day, and we know we have a few hard days ahead of us. We are leaning on each other and finding ways to grieve. I have hope that Dad’s strong faith has paid off and that he is in the loving arms of Jesus. 

We will lay him to rest in the family cemetery affectionately referred to as “On Top of the World” tomorrow at 1PM. A memorial mass will be held at noon on Tuesday, October 9, at St. Ann’s Church in Waynesburg, PA. Dad’s obituary will be printed in the Observer-Reporter and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Thank you all for your prayers throughout Dad’s journey and through this difficult time. We know many of you are just as heartbroken as we are, and our thoughts and prayers are with you as well.

Signing off,
Josie
P.S.
The rainbow appeared the evening before Dad died.