This time last year we woke up not realizing the hell that was about to hit us. Both of my sweet boys were sick. Both with the flu. It was October 18th. It was the day I heard, "Beth, it is what you feared. Gavin has a mediastinal mass" and then a lot of other words I don't remember. I remember the flurry of people and the sad faces of all my coworkers that had to walk in and take care of Gavin while trying not to look me in the eye. I remember walking him to CT scan and waiting to hear if they were admitting him to the ICU. I remember asking Gavin what he needed, what could I do for him. He asked to call his coach in the middle of the night. Coach Coffey, I am really sorry for that phone call but thankful you were there for my boy.

I know that we are one of the "lucky" cancer families. His treatment was considered one of the quick ones (he would strongly disagree) and that some kids are battling for years. It's crazy what can happen in 365 days. Diagnosis, surgeries, treatment plans, central line placement, 6 months of chemotherapy, physical therapy, meds (so many meds), weight loss, deconditioning, sickness, many doctors appointments, echocardiograms, EKGs, labs and more labs. But he is a FIGHTER. I know that's cliche. But it is the dang truth. His goal was to be a starter at the first football game of the season and he freaking did it. Very few people saw how hard he struggled and fought. Just getting back any strength at all was a fight. Then to get back into varsity football strength was another level. Every time he runs on that field, I cry. Every time he high fives his teammate, has a great play or or is celebrating on that field, I hold back the tears. All the little things are not so little to me. They all mean that he is alive and thriving. 

He has 2 more football games left in his high school career. I know this Friday nights' game means a lot to him. He didn't get to play this one last year. He stood on the sidelines and cheered his team on while we all waited for final pathology to come back and tell us what the next few months would hold. 

Friday night is also senior night. How is he a senior? This may all be too much for mama to handle. I am not ready to let go. College applications have been submitted and he's planning for his future. I am immensely proud of him. He has shown us that he is stronger than any storm. 

I do truly believe that life is never the same after cancer. Believe it or not, I am thankful for some of it. I am thankful for the people in our lives...really good people. The ones that love my boys like their own. That prayed for us, loved us, fed us, made us laugh, gave the best hugs, let me cry and scream and be angry, and just all around supported us. There is nothing like the power of community and kindness and love. Thank you for following our journey and supporting us.