The funeral was as lovely as a funeral can be. Thank you to all those attended, it was truly a beautiful send off for Gary. I wanted to share my remarks for those of you who couldn’t be there...

Hello friends and family,

For those of you who have been following along with the Caringbridge site, this will be my final update.  

It’s an honour to be standing up here speaking to you today.  I want to thank each of you in person for sending so much love and support to our family over the past 11 months.  Standing by while Gary endured his illness was the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do but it was a comfort to know we didn’t have to do it alone and over the past couple of months I’ve been so lucky to hear the stories each of you have shared online and at his bedside about your own experience with Gary, thank you so much for sharing them with us.  

I’ll never forget when my mom told us “I think I’ve met someone” and I responded with a snarky “well you either met them or you didn’t” and she went on to tell us about Gary and I could tell even in those early days that what she meant was “I think I’ve met someone wonderful” and she was right.  Gary was wonderful.

But how do you sum up a person in words?  For my mom and sisters and I, Gary was kindness and my kids called him Gare Bear, like Care Bear which is a good start.  Quinn wanted me to tell you that she accidentally sprayed orange pop all over him when we were in Cuba on vacation and “he didn’t even get mad!”

Gary knew that love is in the details and the little things and in the doing of tasks.  

When I was diagnosed and going through surgery and treatment for thyroid cancer he was one of my biggest supporters and he was the first one to understand and talk me through the existential crisis that followed.  

Both of my sisters have undergone surgeries for the same cancer in the last 6 months (true story).  Even though Gary was not well he went with mom to Shelley’s surgery. And for Adrienne he took care of her at home the week after her surgery, making her at least 8 grilled cheeses and they watched a whole season of Frasier together.

A few years ago when my cousin Amy was in hospital Gary brought their family suppers and procured cherry tomatoes upon request.  Speaking of tomatoes, one fall, somehow in the midst of canning 7 bushels of tomatoes our tomato squisher broke and somehow Gary made another one appear within an hour, it was a miracle!  

Gary was a hugger!

I was telling Jenna the other day that Gary taught me how to hug.  She said she thought that was so funny because hugging had always been part of their greetings and she always thought it sounded funny that Gary had to teach us that but I told her, “well he taught you how to hug too, he just started a lot earlier” - man you guys were so lucky to have him as your dad - his whole face would light up when he talked about you guys when we first met him.

After his diagnosis his biggest worry was that it would ruin Marilyn and that his kids would have no parents despite that fact that he was the one who had to endure it.  Gary was all about family and he made us his family the second we welcomed him into our hearts.

One of the biggest take aways I have from the last 6 weeks is that the Simms/Woods’ have become a team.  We pulled together and rallied and laughed and cried and split up both the physical and emotional work of seeing Gary to the end of his journey.  It was the hardest, saddest work but we became a whole lot closer and I’m very happy to say that my new family have become my true friends, thank you for letting me help and for sharing your Dad with me.  

In closing I’d like to leave you with a quote from a podcast I listen to:

“We have a sacred responsibility to live fully in the face of our losses, but it’s a bitch.”

Our lives without Gary are going to be hard but he taught us how to care for each other, how to show up even when it’s difficult and that even though life can be brutal we can still be kind.

God speed Gary, I love you.