I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? When will that be?

No, just a regular mistake. Tell them I hate them. No! The cat shelter's on to me. What are their names? Anyone who laughs is a communist!

How much did you make me? I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! And why did 'I' have to take a cab?

1. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own!
2. Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.
3. Oh yeah, good luck with that.

Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But, okay! There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!

• Soon enough.
• Oh yeah, good luck with that.
• I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that.

Ow, my spirit! Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Professor, make a woman out of me. The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

We're also Santa Claus! Guess again. A sexy mistake. Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg!

When will that be? Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker. Hey, whatcha watching? You, a bobsleder!? That I'd like to see! Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.

You know, I was God once. I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe! And why did 'I' have to take a cab? Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

Throw her in the brig. Kif might! You, a bobsleder!? That I'd like to see! You know, I was God once.

It's a T. It goes "tuh". Say what? For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms. I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe!

I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things. That's not soon enough! That's the ONLY thing about being a slave.

Then we'll go with that data file! Kif might! It doesn't look so shiny to me. But I've never been to the moon! What are their names? Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!

Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? Why did you bring us here? You guys go on without me! I'm going to go… look for more stuff to steal!

Ummm…to eBay? Professor, make a woman out of me. You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing. Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! Also, we're dying!

Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… I never loved you.

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