Hi all.  This is a hard one to write. Taylor's PET scan showed that the tumor has been growing despite chemotherapy and immunotherapy.  Testing done on the tumor tissue itself showed that there were mutations within the tumor that made his prognosis worse.  Taylor had a discussion with his oncologist, reviewing treatment options, and learned that the remaining options have low success rates and high rates of side effects.  The chemo he had been on was very hard on him - lots of nausea that persisted even after taking 4 different nausea medications.  So he chose to stop treatment.  He decided to continue with palliative treatment options and his oncologist referred him for radiation therapy which we hope with reduce his pain and possibly shrink the tumor a bit. 

The tumor was growing while Taylor was taking chemo, but the chemotherapy must have been slowing it down a  little because soon after he stopped medication it began growing more rapidly.  Fortunately the nausea stopped but his pain increased dramatically.  We had a really rough period,  consulting with palliative care, oncology, and two pain specialists while the pain was so bad that Taylor was not able to sleep for several days - I didn't know it was possible to go that long without sleep, and it was very hard on him.  Finally they were able to get medication that helped reduce his pain.    It was wonderful to see his body  relax and watch him rest for hours!  He has been able to keep the pain manageable since then.  He completed 5 sessions of radiation without any complications.  He's tired and the pain meds can make him a  bit loopy, but it's worth it for the comfort they provide.  

Because Taylor will no longer be receiving cancer-fighting therapies his oncologist referred him to hospice.  Today a hospice nurse came to our home to do the intake.  The visit was an odd combination of very practical and completely life changing.  Taylor is taking all these changes incredibly well; not to say that it is easy or that he is not affected - it's incredibly hard and he struggles just like anyone would in such an unfair and hard situation, but I am impressed every day with his ability to take this awful hand he has been dealt and proceed with whatever steps are needed.  There have been so many disappointments - cancelling plans he had been looking forward to, realizing he is not able to do some of the things he wants to do, and of course the fact that this disease is moving so much faster than we had hoped.  I'm angry, I'm heartbroken, I'm scared, and Taylor is all of those things as well, but he is also still kind, thoughtful, funny, curious, and loving.  What he is going through is a true test of character and his spirit - who he is as a person continues to shine though all the difficulty.

Last week his siblings and his mother and his children and grandchildren all visited for several days - they helped complete some yard projects Taylor had been hoping to finish - a huge effort and the result is just what we had in mind, and it was good for everyone to be together.  We took some family photos in the Arboretum and Taylor showed everyone the nursery - many of them had never  seen it before and it was really  fun to see him explaining all the work that goes into making it such an impressive place.  It's hard for Taylor to get out right now since his energy level and discomfort/pain can be a bit unpredictable so visits at home are easier for him, but short outings are also welcome!   

That's all I have for now. I wish I had a better message for you.  I'm so fortunate to have this amazing man in my life and we are so grateful for all the help and  love we are receiving.