This is Elaine.  
If you will indulge me on one last post.  Just a warning, this will be raw and honest. Thank you all for reading our ramblings faithfully and for your encouraging comments.  It has been a blessing to be able to share this journey with you all.  

I sit here at a loss.  That is the only word that can describe what this is-loss.  I have lost my best friend, my partner, my brother in Christ, and essentially, the other half of me (some would say my better half).  It still feels surreal in a way.  Here at home, there are little reminders of him everywhere because, after 35 years, our lives have become truly integrated.  Now I must separate what we spent 35 years building together.  The process seems painful, overwhelming, and filled with red tape.  Where do you start?  Also, my brain seems to have failed me as thoughts seem fleeting and scattered and I feel that I am plowing through some serious brain fog to get anything accomplished.  

BUT GOD has given me a great family and extended family.  BUT GOD has been with me (us) every step of the way. BUT GOD "binds up the brokenhearted".  For today, I will try to bring some of this chaos back to order (with God's help and my family- praise Jesus) and maybe tomorrow a little more.  I know in my head that our God is faithful and "will supply all our needs according to his glorious riches" I will choose joy and hopefully, eventually, my heart will follow my head.

Love you all and thank you again for reading these posts and praying for us and traveling with us on this hard difficult road.

Blessings to you all-hug your family close,
Elaine