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May 05-11

This Week

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It's the end of day 25 of 29 of Ezekiel's first round of chemo. 1 month down, 23 to go. This has been the most difficult month of my life, pretty sure my husband would say the same. My emotions have been a roller coaster and my faith has been tested like no other but I remind myself that although this is horrible, we are blessed to be in a crummy situation that has an excellent prognosis. I have watched my happy, fun loving, adventurous, and bubbly son become a pain riddled, moody, food scarfing baby. It looks like it hurts to just breathe. I'm countinh down the days for this to end. Many parents say the dex is the toughest med their children had to take. Everyone tells me the next round of chemo is much easier on kids... I truly hope so because seeing my little guy like this hurts my soul. I can't even step away to run to the store without feeling so guilty for leaving his side. All he wants is to be cuddled... His body aches so much.

Friday he will have a lumbar puncture to administer an intrathecal medication and also get a bone marrow biopsy to see how effective the chemo has been. I pray he is considered to be in remission. He needs this one win, he's just a baby. If he is not in remission the next courses of treatment will be more intense and I just want this to be as smooth as possible for him...

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