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May 05-11

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Update - first and foremost I FEEL THE LOVE so thanks so much for sending it. I’ve gotten a lot of inquiries regarding the transition over to hospice and I just wanted to share that it’s been a simple and seamless transition with not a lot to tell about. More than anything it seems to focus on not only managing my pain but also making my health care needs manageable from home while making sure I’m also prepared for the challenges to come - which totally works with my nature. Essentially I’ve gone from going to the doctors office regularly to getting all my med checks done at home at my convenience. My meds are all being sorted and delivered, no more trips to the pharmacy, and a nursing aide will come in twice a week to help me with hygiene and light cleaning like changing my sheets and such.  Other then that I’m no longer tied to a toxic chemo schedule that tears me down and I have wiggle room on my meds so I still have room for adjustment before things get to a point where it takes more or stronger meds to manage my pain - so for now the trick is to not get caught up in how many pain free days I have left and just take full advantage of them while I have them. I see a day at the state fair coming and am still hoping for some outings in my future. 
My wonderful family has so stepped up to the plate that words simply can’t express how special every moment with them makes me feel but it’s like being filled to the brim with so much love that my cup runneth over. If there’s anything I’m pissed about is how much this hurts my family but ultimately it will make them stronger.
So many of you have commented on my strength and I have to say I feel anything but strong (physically) right now - but I still feel strong mentally. My good friend asked me today if I was scared and I have to say honestly I AM NOT. I don’t know what is to come and I pray I can be strong through the pain but I’m not scared. 
It’s all going to be okay. I’m just going with the flow for now and hopefully it will be a ride that lasts longer than any of us expected.

Much love to all of you and thank you for the words of love and encouragement.

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