Holy smokes, it’s been a long time since I posted an update for y’all.  The last couple of months have been spent healing up from having the expander removed on my right side, progressing with physical therapy, and wrapping up 6 months of oral chemo. 

This coming Monday is Test Day!  I will have a CT and bone scan to confirm that the treatment undergone this past year did its job.  Though I’m experiencing some of the “scanxiety” which comes with these tests, I am hopeful.  I’m not sure how long it will take to get the results, but I don’t expect it will take more than a few days.  

I asked my oncologist about remission/cure status, and he said that we won’t know whether I am “cured” for another couple of years. This is due to the high recurrence rate of triple negative breast cancer within the first 2-5 years. So the plan is to conduct these scans every 6 months for the next 2 years, and annually for a time after that. 

Also coming up is the next step in the reconstruction process.  In this procedure, my plastic surgeon will replace the skin on my right breast which was damaged by radiation, with a flap of skin and tissue taken from my back. It is an out-patient surgery, scheduled for the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  I’ll have another procedure around 5-6 weeks after that, to place the permanent implants. 

With all of this, I’m reminded of a passage from The Velveteen Rabbit. Though it maybe wasn’t necessarily meant in the same context, it feels appropriate today. 

“It doesn’t happen all at once... You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get very loose and shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Peace and Love 💜
-E