Today, I begin radiation. I must admit that I am struggling with this reality.  

In February, I went to Memorial Sloan Kettering for what I believed was my last major stop on my journey to be cancer-free.  The surgery went very well and I must compliment my plastic surgeon and his team. I cannot brag about my care team at MSK enough. They have been amazing and they are focusing on caring for the whole person not just the cancer.  I went home after surgery and took the first of many naps. A week into my recovery, my surgeon called me to check on me and to let me know that the pathology on the section of the other breast they had removed in the reconstruction surgery had revealed more cancer.  

When I was diagnosed in Oct of 2022, my doctor and I decided that aggressive surgery was the best answer for my type of cancer. My doctors were correct and after my mastectomy, things looked good. I began the process of controlling things via hormone therapy. I have been through a complex reconstruction process that I believe will be better for me in the long run.  My surgery in February was the last of three surgeries. 

The good news is that it was too small to be detected by imaging and the margins look clear. These are good things but I am still floored. I have spent the last month processing this news and meeting with my team to figure next steps. During that time, I struggled with post-surgical infections and my feelings of defeat.  And then came Holy Week. 

I can't begin to explain the healing power of walking through the Death and Resurrection of Jesus. I cried and mourned alongside our retelling of the Passion. This retelling allowed me the space to rediscover my fear and pain so I could rejoice in the knowledge of life through Jesus Christ.  My sense of calm arrived at the Easter Vigil as we told the story of salvation since creation. I realized once again that this story of life over death continues again and again in our own lives and the lives of our communities. Each time, God is present and reaching out to us with love so Easter was amazing and I can honestly state "Christ is Risen!" with joy.   I get a front-row seat to miracles of healing seen in modern medicine.  Not a seat I would have purchased myself but here we are. 

I  must remind myself again today that I have nothing to fear. Easier said than done so I'm asking for your help. I will receive radiation over the next 3 weeks and I am asking for your prayers for me, my family, and all the doctors and nurses attending to me.  Thank you for your love and support.