Easter offers all of us - believers and non- the promise of newness and growth. The Bible references the natural order - and Easter offers us an opportunity to transition from wintering to blooming.  I still have some wintering to do- despite the change in season- but isn’t it that we bloom only because we can winter?  Just like nature. 

 My treatments continue to go well and I “winter” every Friday for about 7 hours in my chemo chair. 

 My prayer is I get to my surgery and my pathology returns as “NED” "no evidence of disease” (we like acronyms in medicine -  😜  ) 

I am blessed with the gift of hindsight of Good Friday- because I know what comes on Easter. But Mary did not- she had faith. She experienced sadness, pain, suffering - because she's human. There cannot be any harsher despair than seeing your son tortured and killed. But despite- she remained faithful in uncertainty. 

 I don't have the gift of hindsight now- so being faithful while acknowledging my humanness is new. I look to Mary and am astonished at just how she did this -  I realize it’s impossible without God. God is how she remained faithful, and it worked for her, Easter is the tangible proof our humanness requires. God is how she got through those terrible days that conflicted with her faith - and it’s how I can too. 

I am also blessed to continue the work that I love- teaching nursing students at the University of Colorado. It’s just enough work without it distracting from my work of healing. I’ve taken a break from my patient care at the primary care clinic to avoid being exposed to germs while my counts are low- but I’ll return. And return with a more holistic view of what it’s like to be vulnerable as a patient. That’s also my work. 

I've included some photos of what we’ve been up to- We were able to get to Snowmass/Aspen for a few days. I ended up with a port infection and Blaine an appendectomy- he’s recovering and overall doing well. He was highly disappointed Aspen Valley hospital did not serve filet minon, but we did learn the hospital cafeteria  the least expensive meal in Aspen. 

I finished  12/12 weekly infusions yesterday, and continue 3 weekly self injections to keep my counts up. I  had a new port placement Thursday (I will NOT be calling this port Trudy- my oncologist called her "Pro-Trudy" because she protruded through my skin and had to come out, then got infected ). I meet  with my surgeon next week and start the “red devil” infusions this Friday and expect to finish chemo in June. 

I continue the cold capping and have kept my hair- and Liv has aced painting eyebrows on for me. 

Your prayers and letters keep me positive, hopeful,  able to walk in uncertainty and to face these medical set backs. They are part of my wintering  and reading them allows me to bloom. We say a prayer for the family who brings us a meal each Tuesday - and those are life savers. 

so thank you- and GOD BLESS you. I can literally feel your prayers lift me on the hard days. Thank you for walking with me

With love and light,