Dear family, friends, and colleagues of Elisabeth: Many thanks for those who were able to celebrate her life on October 18 and for all who provided support through presence, prayer, and encouragement over the months. Multiple loved ones couldn't be there. Here's hoping we are all finding ongoing ways to celebrate the gifts she contributed to our lives, to mourn the loss, and to see the ways she keeps showing up. 

What did we get up to on the 18th? Many branches of the family tree showed up, as did friends from Elisabeth's childhood and Boston College years, Garden City and NYC networks, and Hudson Valley personal and professional life.  

A mass: At St John the Evangelist in Goshen, NY, Pat Mansfield Phelan (sister) eulogized Elisabeth. Father Jude Peters (Elisabeth's first cousin) said a loving mass, laced with classic Elisabeth stories. Flowers from Elisabeth's garden, an orchid, one of Elisabeth's favorite photos of herself (taken by Uncle John Pinto), and some rosary beads from the Vatican (thanks Trisha) accompanied the urn just in front of the altar. Mame (sister-in-law) chose readings, Maggie (sister-in-law) read the first reading, Chuck (brother) wrote and read the prayers of the faithful, and Mike and Maggie (brother and sister in law) coordinated with the church. Dylan and Luke Beyer (Mimi and Marti's sons, who also considered Elisabeth a second mother) distributed programs. A poem inspired by Elisabeth's voice in the days after she transitioned - penned by Randy Ross, one of Kate's (sister) dearest friends - was on the back cover of the church program and read by Maggie at the celebration of life (see below). 

Celebration: The central celebration (that Elisabeth planned, of course, talking to the venue and caterer well in advance!) was held at Tin Barn Brewing. Elisabeth had dictated the playlist of tunes (about 5 hours of music). Several of her flowering orchids, framed photos of her with friends and family members, some of her own artwork, a digital display of hundreds of photos, some musical memorabilia, and some Mansfield Commercial placards gave the space an EAM signature. We are grateful to Tin Barn's owners and staff (for the space, service, drinks and pizza), Katie and Chris Moccio (who provided additional catering), and everyone who helped with setting up and wrapping up (Kath Bartlein, Mimi and Dylan Beyer, Sonya Bierbower, Kate and Martha Dalton, Mike and Maggie, my brother John and Peter Barlow - and I'm sure there were more, but my memory is a little blurry). Dylan Beyer (son of Marti and Mimi Beyer) emceed the spoken remarks. If anyone would like the recording of these remarks, please email me (mansfieldkatie@gmail.com) and I can send along.

More gratitude: To Maureen Hallahan and Sarah Nathanson for designing the email invitation and programs for the church - and sending the invites and printing the programs. To Isabelle and James Murray for the beautiful flowers contributed to the celebration.  To orchid friends Andrew and Brenda for helping to find new homes for the collection and supplies. To cousin John Pinto once again for his exquisite nursing care. To all the Mansfields and Stewart sisters' descendants and Lissemores and Vanderbushes and Irwins and Beyers - for more than I know how to describe. To exquisite neighbor-friends for providing accommodations, help, and fresh eggs and veggies. And to this giant web of Elisabeth's people for moral support as we each find a way to hold memories sacred, practice letting go, and live into our changed lives.

If you would like to listen to the music she chose, here it is via

• Apple Music and
• Spotify (Note the Spotify list is lacking a couple of favorites - Joni Mitchell, Woman of Heart and Mind; Neil Young, Harvest Moon and Comes a Time; and the version of Cortez the Killer by Neil Young and Crazy Horse).

And here is the poem, "I lay down my walking stick" by Randall Ross, October 2023.

I lay down my walking stick

And bid you all goodbye

I lay down my walking stick

And rise up to the sky

I lay down my walking stick

That ties me to this earth

I lay down my walking stick

My death is my rebirth

I am so close to you

I see the things you see

I am so close to you

And I will always be

I am so close to you

And truly love you so

I am so close to you

Please love me by letting go

No ending

Never ending

Remaining

Renaming

Beginning

Beginning

I lay down my walking stick

That ties me to this earth

I lay down my walking stick

My death is my rebirth

I lay down my walking stick 

That ties me to this earth 

I lay down my walking stick 

My death is my rebirth

I lay down my walking stick