After finishing my cancer treatments in October, I figured it would be a month or so before I would attempt to return to work— boy was I wrong. The initial plan was to reopen my plastic surgical practice in mid-November, but the side effects of all my surgeries and treatments held me back from doing so. November came and went and we were almost through with December when Jarred and my family kept asking me if I was ready to return to work yet. See, it’s difficult for most people to comprehend how someone who looks so “normal” on the outside could still be struggling on the inside along with with the after effects of the cancer treatments. This is actually a common pet peeve of many breast cancer survivors, and something I warned my husband of. As survivors we understand that people mean well when making those type of comments, but really it makes us cringe inside because unless you have walked in the tortuous path of a breast cancer survivor, you have no idea of the hell it entails. I knew the comments to me were made with love and concern, but it hurt. I was diligently trying to regain my strength by exercising 4-5 days a week and learning to accept and manage my neuropathies, but nothing seemed to be working. January rolled around and I still was not sure I could return to work. How could I perform surgeries when I could only stand for about two hours at a time? How could I see 20–plus clinic patients when I could barely clean my house without becoming exhausted? We were at the point where we needed to decide if Jarred should look for another job or not, as the plan was to bring him on to manage my practice and assist me with the transition back to working. My mind went to a dark place during this time because I was not sure I would ever be able to effectively be a surgeon again. And then it happened. My Oncology team started me on a medication that is known to be beneficial with neuropathy, and within a few weeks I was able to tolerate standing for more than 2 hours at a time. It was as if a miracle had happened and I knew I was ready to return to my surgical practice.

With that in mind, I decided to reopen my practice on February 7th 2022, my 47th birthday. I started on a very part-time basis seeing only 3-5 patients a week. It was the perfect formula to get me back into the swing of things while training Jarred on every aspect of running a surgical practice. He thought it would take some time to actually be “busy” again without advertising, but soon realized that it would be more difficult to keep me part time and not overworking myself. Unfortunately, I immediately became ill with a virus and eventual sinus infection that my kids brought home from school, which made my return a little more difficult, but I kicked it after a few weeks. By the first week in March, I was able to do my first surgery. Though apprehensive at first, I was easily calmed by the sense of normalcy that I felt upon walking into the surgery center. It was just like riding a bicycle and I never skipped a beat. It was almost as if the previous 14 months of me being unable to perform surgeries never happened. At the end of the case when I left the surgery center, I sat in my car and smiled, and an Aerosmith song came to mind… “I’m back in the saddle again…”

Its been a tough road, this recovery, but I can finally say that I am hopeful that each day will bring a little more ease, a little more acceptance, and a little more hope for more time with my family. My labs were a little wonky in January and I’m having a few issues that I am hoping are related to my new medications, so I am seeing my Oncologist this week. I pray that these “issues” are just normal parts of healing and recovery.