As we progress through Minnesota's "winter that wasn't," we have continued to see some changes and challenges with Donnis. As Sara previously shared in November, we are seeing her less interested in eating and drinking much of the time, despite prompting and reminders, and she has continued to lose weight, although at a fairly slow rate. 

The holidays ended up being a bit more difficult than anyone expected, as Dave's Mom (Grandma Lassig) passed away on December 20th. At 100 years young, she had led a very long and full life, and she was very clear with all of us that she was ready to go. She had been on hospice care for a few weeks, but began to decline quite quickly the week before Christmas, and spent less than a week at the Stewartville Care Center before she passed away. We will miss that sassy, smart, little lady and there were definitely some moments during Christmas that felt just a little empty without her. As a World War II Navy veteran, Grandma will be buried in the spring at the Preston Veterans Cemetery, with a graveside service. 

Dave did bring Donnis to see Dorothy before she died, and although it's always hard to tell what Donnis understands, she held Grandma's hand and tried to tuck in her covers a little more, and Dorothy was able to say goodbye to her. Donnis met Dorothy years before she met Dave, when Donnis volunteered at the Spring Valley Hospital where Dorothy worked as a nurse, and they shared a strong affection for one another. 

Donnis also did pretty well with all the extra "chaos" that came into her world during that 10 days or so, as Heather and I (and our pets) ended up being guests for 10 days straight, Dave was gone more to spend time with his mother and his siblings, and Maddie spent some time here with her aunties while Sara and Drew spent time with Grandma and helped coordinate her care. It was truly an all hands on deck situation. 

We had a nice little Christmas Eve at Dave's house with all of our immediate family as well as Grandma Elaine and Aunt Debbie. Donnis had a few breaks during the evening for some quiet and rest but overall did really well. Christmas Day was a quiet day, with Heather and I hanging out with Mom and Dad and opening stockings and trying to pretend the rain that day was festive snow!

Things got quite a bit more difficult in mid-January, as Mom's agitation significantly increased, particularly in later afternoons. She was eventually diagnosed with another UTI, which unfortunately required two different courses of antibiotics to finally knock out. We also attempted to add a new medication for agitation that didn't work well for Donnis and unfortunately ramped up the agitation quite a bit. She seems to be settled back a bit more into her prior "normal" now, although we continue to see some increased frequency of incontinence.

Donnis remains physically very strong and very opposed to most bathing and changing of clothes related tasks, so those are still a 2 to 1 activity to keep her and ourselves safe. Dave has also become more involved in those activities, as he is the only one of us that can often get through to Donnis when she is very upset. Sara and I had hoped to spare him from some of that as just one small thing we could do so he wouldn't have to, but unfortunately now that is an area that has required a bit of a shift.

Heather and Drew both also continue to help with not only watching over Mom to keep her safe, but also with the direct care she needs, and in supporting Dave. Heather has also taken over the role of the sole income earner in our family for a while, as I resigned from my job and plan to spend the foreseeable future helping to care for Mom. As Dave often says, it is an honor to care for Donnis, and Heather and I feel very grateful that we are able to do more for Mom and Dad right now, especially after all they have done for both me and us as a couple. We are also happy to be able to be here as primary support more often, given all that Sara and Drew have done to be "on call" when urgent needs arise, not to mention all the care and support they have provided for the last several years after moving to the neighborhood. 

As I write this, Dave is in the next room, building shelving into a closet in what used to be the dining room, but will soon be Mom and Dad's main floor bedroom. Stairs have gotten more and more difficult for Donnis, so Dave is hard at work converting the dining room to become their new bedroom by closing off a former open entry, insulating for noise, and the like. Sara and I have volunteered Heather and Drew to help when the day comes to move all the furniture down! 

And so we continue to try to take things day by day. We all remain so grateful for the support from the many folks in our lives who help look after Donnis and for those who have helped support the rest of us on this journey.