Denise Noonan Eulogy

40 years, 2 months, 3 weeks, 3 days, that is how long I have known Denise.

We met on my first day at IBM in Poughkeepsie, NY and the rest is a story of a fabulous life together.

So who was Denise Cecilia Noonan? You each have your own answer to that question and I suspect it varies but I would venture to guess that there are some common themes. We can all reflect on these as I share with you some stories about the Denise that I knew.

But first, let me tell you about Denise Cecilia Miller, the girl who grew up in a small coal-mining town in the middle of Pennsylvania. She was not a "coal miners daughter" but she was a "coal miners granddaughter" and her dad had to work many jobs to make ends meet and he did this while Denise's mom struggled with health problems. Despite these challenges, I think she had a happy childhood which laid the foundation for the great wife, mother, and friend she became to all of us.

When you look back on those early years you can see some of the things that defined Denise. From her father, I think she got her work ethic. She was certainly not afraid to work.

She worked many jobs as a kid: babysitter, lifeguard, waitress, and bank teller to name a few. All of these things influenced her and had an impact on her later in life.

Since the day I first met her, she would not put a bill in her purse that was not in the correct position. Do you think the bank teller job had something to do with this?

She was a lifeguard at the town pool and this served her well later in life when she taught swimming lessons to both kids and adults. It also served me well when she saved a stranger's life and my life one day. Let me quickly tell you the story.

Before kids, we were on vacation in Cape Cod and we decided to swim to a sandbar out in the ocean. It was a couple of hundred feet out there and required swimming through some deep water. I was not a great swimmer but could muscle my way out there with a few feet to spare. On the way out there, a guy called to me and asked me to come over. I did and when I got to him he grabbed me and I immediately went under.

This was not good but to my surprise, I was suddenly free and when I surfaced, I saw Denise with her arm around the guy's upper body dragging him to safety. I wonder if he remembers that day?

From her mother, I think she got her attention to detail. This includes her money management and couponing skills.

She was known as the"Coupon Queen" a title she inherited from her mom. Here is a story that illustrates this point. As many of you know, I worked at IBM and built Point of Sale systems or what you know as cash registers.

About 15 years back, we had a contest to see who could get the biggest discount for 15 items at the grocery store. I told Denise about this and she immediately jumped on the challenge. Over a period of a month, Denise collected her best coupons and then went off to Harris Teeter. So she goes through the checkout lane and low and behold the amount due goes negative and Harris Teeter does not give back money. So Denise being Denise grabbed a magazine and put the transaction back into the positive and this 16th item resulted in a second-place finish rather than first.

It is funny. Denise worried about the small stuff but when it came to donating large sums of money to charity her attitude was "We have the money to give".

Another trait of Denise that was cultivated as a child and practiced throughout her adult life was her caring for people. It started when her grandmother who had a stroke lived with her family. She told me how she would comb her grandmother's hair every day when she returned home from school.

As an adult, I saw this in action. If somebody was sick or had a death in the family, Denise was always there to help and provide a meal, when my dad was needing help, she took him into our home, when her parents needed help, she would drive down to Pinehurst almost every day to provide assistance. And of course, there was "Granny", Kelly Scott's grandmother who Denise took to church every Saturday night and afterward to McDonalds for a cheeseburger and ice cream cone. She did this for several years.

Denise was a religious person. From St. Joe's in Shamokin Pa, to Our Lady of Lourdes high school, to Rosemont College, to Good Shepard in Rhinebeck NY, to St Michael's on Maynard Road, or “The Beer Hall” or St Michael's on High House Road and finally to Mother Theresa. The church has always been a key part of her life. We often called her St Denise.

She was a catechist, a math teacher, a Eucharistic minister, a reader and should have been in the choir. She had a great voice. I remember many times when someone in church would compliment her on her singing. There was one instance at Green Hope when Denise and a gentleman sitting behind us sang beautifully throughout the mass. Out of respect for Denise, I was doing my usual lip sync.

At the end of mass, a women sitting in front of us turned around and said” “You two sang beautifully”.

I smiled and said: “Thank you”.

Denise was also an athlete in high school playing varsity basketball and softball and this continued when she went to college at Rosemont, a catholic women's college. She was a fierce competitor that anyone who ever played against her in tennis knows. Personally, I tried to avoid this matchup. I learned early on playing "horse" in basketball with Denise. She always beat me. She had game.

Speaking of Rosemont, I once called her a "Rose Monster" to which she quickly responded by calling my alma mater Fairleigh Dickinson, "Fairly Ridiculous". She was always so much quicker on her feet than me. In any social situation, she was always confident and was never intimidated by anyone. She would talk to anyone. In fact, on one of our yearly outings with our IBM friends. We met and competed against Usain Bolt because Denise would approach anyone and strike up a conversation. Usain Bolt once the fatest man in the world.

After the service catch up with me and I will let you know who won.

Denise was a friend and she had many. If it wasn't for her, I would have only very few. Just look at the number of friends that she has known for 40 or more years. Many of you, I put in the "Angel" category. You are the folks who have been there for her in her time of need with visits, meals, flowers, and prayers. Thank you so very very much.

Denise was a mother and her daughters are shining examples of her love. She was a best friend and confidant. Always there in whatever capacity they needed and willing to drop everything to give them love, support, and guidance.

As I look at them I see Denise. I see her caring heart, I see her determination, and I see the competitor. They have always made Denise and me very proud.

Denise was a teacher and tutor. There are hundreds of kids who have benefited from her knowledge and more importantly her patience as a math teacher. I think there are also hundreds of moms and dads who benefited as well. Many of you are here today.

Denise is my hero. We all can take lessons from her on how to face adversity. She has shown nothing but grace, dignity, and courage throughout her whole battle with brain cancer. I can only hope that I can be as half as brave as she has been.

Denise was my wife and best friend who made my life so very very special.

I have been the luckiest person in the world to be able to have shared her journey with her through 40 years of her life.

I miss her so very much.