As we enter the holiday season starting with Thanksgiving and being in the midst of the grief of losing our mother and our friend, we are not 100% certain how we will navigate.  Regardless, we will choose joy.  We refuse to allow our circumstances to define who we are.  Our circumstances are not us.  Yes, there is an empty chair at our table this year for the holidays but the person sitting in that chair last year would want us to celebrate and enjoy the holidays sitting around our tables as families and friends being grateful for yet another “year of waking up, of breathing and being alive”.  That was Mom’s famous quote on birthdays.  She would want us to eat, have fun, play games, and enjoy one another’s company so that is what we will do.

We want to focus on what we are thankful for in 2019 specifically.    We remember in January saying, “We want a do over of 2019”. You see this is the date that Mom was diagnosed with GBM and basically given a “death sentence” according to doctors. We couldn’t stop crying, worrying, being fearful of the future, we couldn’t begin to think how to move forward, let alone fathom living life without our Mom who just one week prior to diagnosis was playing pickle ball and walking 3 miles per day.  We were devastated to say the least.  The reality is, yes, on January 12 Mom received a devastating diagnosis, it was only a diagnosis and not a death sentence, it was just the beginning, Mom received her prize and is spending eternity with her Lord and Savior.   The human in us may think we want a do over but guaranteed Mom does NOT want a do over, she is in Heaven!  This brings us great joy!   

We miss Mom tremendously however, we are thankful for this year, thankful that she is in now in Heaven, living life to the fullest, fully healed!  During 2019, while Mom was still on earth with us, we have a lot to be grateful for.  God had an ultimate plan and some of it is beginning to make sense to us already now.  We are grateful for Mom’s cancer journey.  May sound strange, but her cancer journey facilitated big changes and transformations to take place in lives. Mom’s cancer journey allowed our entire family to  deepen our faith and learn to trust God more, her cancer journey allowed us to spend more intentional, quality time with her, talking about everything we ever wanted to, her cancer journey allowed us to be able to serve her and take care of her in her weakest and most volatile moments, her cancer journey allowed us treat her with dignity and respect at all times, we were able to provide additional help as needed to give her the best care possible, because of her cancer journey specifically, our family  became even more tightly knitted together and what we are MOST thankful for this year is that since Mom was diagnosed, she lived with ZERO pain, zero!  This is unheard of with GBM as one of the first indicators is terrible headaches and for this we will be eternally grateful.

When I began writing this post, I wasn’t quite sure what I would be able to say that we are thankful for this year, but the reality is God’s plan is the best and we are thankful for a lot, a lot more than we ever thought possible!  Praise God!

Blessings to you and your families this year, enjoy each and every moment you are able to spend with your family members and friends, life can change in one day!  HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!