Hi, 💜 village,

This is the hardest post to write, but it is cathartic for me, and I think it will also be for you, all the people who loved her and remembered her so full of life and spirit. I’m sure you are in utter disbelief and heartbroken (like we are) that this happened so quickly. 

We took mom by ambulance Thanksgiving night with significant nausea, not obviously understanding how sick she truly was at that point. She was in septic shock. They revived her through drugs to keep all of her levels stable. She did rally through Monday, and we all hoped  she might leave the ICU and even potentially get discharged. She took a significant turn for the worse with septic shock again in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. She was never really able fully to recover from that. She continued to be critical, but stable. Her vitals were fine, and I was trained to keep an eye on those computer stats  24/7. A merciful, palliative doctor helped us understand on Thursday that she was in decline and her vital signs, although good at the time, would lag behind the complications.

By Friday, she was definitely slipping from us and was not lucid. The best gift I have, in little moments of lucidity, was that she told me she loved me. Please know  that throughout the hospital stay, she continued to be the same kind and gracious self to all of the staff, never complaining. Her pain was managed and she was comfortable during the last 10 days. Starting on Tuesday, dad and I spent a lot of time with her; Jay and the kids spent time with her through the weekend, when we knew we were going to have to say goodbye. We were able to do that by telling stories, laughing, crying, and holding her hand. We played Christmas carols and hymns, we listened to church services, and visited with clergy.  Of course, the Hallmark Channel Christmas movies were playing nonstop in the background,  just as she would like.

Dad and I truly found a Philippians kind of peace that does surpass all understanding starting about Thursday. We knew she was not going to recover and we definitely did not want her to suffer. He has been so strong and clearheaded through these last few weeks to help make serious decisions. Many have asked and he will continue to live with us since he is no longer driving. We will take it one day at a time to figure out our new normal, but we are very comfortable here as a new “party of 5.” 

Jay has been a rock in keeping the home fires burning with dad and the kids, our two dogs, and mom’s beloved little dog, Belle. 

My kids have been so strong and amazing. Definitely compassionate and wise beyond their years. Reflecting, biblically speaking, Jackson is my Mary as he is tender hearted and chose to sit next to mom, holding  her hand and giving her hugs. Taylor is my Martha and took to taking care of dad and the dogs and literally decorated my house fully for Christmas, better than I’ve ever seen it before. 

We’ve promised each other we’re going to dial in happy times and we’re going to keep on living the best we can because that’s what mom would want. She loved so well, and the entire community has reached out to us in unfathomable ways to support us. We will never fully be able to thank you for loving us so well during this incredibly difficult time.

all our love💜… Tina