Dear God, may we find the strength to embrace our whole selves, rekindle new and exciting things in our lives that bring us peace and joy, and step right into the fullness of our life force.  Help us to always remember we are never alone and that together we share the unity and strength that makes us stronger with those we dearly love, and love us right back. It is your tender, loving gift to every one of us.  Amen. 

We continue to forge ahead with this now 18-month fight with pancreatic cancer. On February 14th Darin had his last radiation treatment—the last of 28 treatments in all. He went for a total of 6 weeks. Darin had Chemotherapy pills at the same time. If you asked him about those pills, Darin would say they are brutal. The pills made him feel zapped of nearly all his energy and lethargic. That combined with the radiation 5 days per week for 6 weeks was tough for him, but, he did it. Concerning his chemo pills, he needed to stop taking them because of a low platelet blood count. So, two weeks before he was to finish, the Dr had him stop.  weighs himself daily to stay up with his nutritional needs as this whole process (as always) deprived him of any appetite that he would normally have. Currently, he is 147 lbs, and we await that ever-elusive appetite. Darin's lowest weight was 130 lbs right about when he had the bowel obstruction. So, he is bouncing back slowly. Meanwhile, I attempt to lure him into wanting to eat by offering calorie-rich meals, low-sodium, and low/no sugar as well. Tonight he wanted mac and cheese. When he got home, he had it waiting for him along with fish and broccoli he ate very well. When I come home from school, I am usually leaving what I make at school. If it is something big, I will bring it home for any takers. There is no baking at home, my taking orders has purposefully come to a halt with my school schedule I need to keep things simple for me and everyone here. and that is a good thing for both of us, Nicholas doesn't go for sweets too much. 

We went to see Dr Shirazi the oncologist early this morning at the new location (photo included). It was the office's first day open. After lab work, his vital were taken and were good. His blood work came back quickly and it showed slight improvement. Darin's bone marrow still needs to "wake up", which, the Dr said after the "kitchen sink" was thrown at him, is normal. We can expect it to come back to normal slowly. Tomorrow afternoon, Darin has a phone call scheduled with his radiologist to follow up and see how he is doing.  CAT scan was ordered to be done in mid-March before the next doctor visit, one month to get a baseline of the condition of the remainder (tail) of his pancreas as well as take another look at his liver, to check things out. 

I often still find it pretty darn amazing that Darin can find the strength to do some of the things he does. Work, for instance. He goes to work every day of the week and looks forward to it. He and his brothers all share intricate and important jobs at their business that make it run as it does. They are highly dedicated and supportive of one another for the success of the company. Another thing that amazed me is that Darin recently followed through with building the most amazing gift in my baking pantry- a SPRINKLE WALL. This is a shelf he hand-made for me to house all of my sprinkles. Of course, made from 100% sheet metal. It is so satisfying to look at, and I love to pick out just what I need from this perfectly made shelf. He made it just for me. What a guy he is :) We frequently speak to the girls and Jack who are all fine and well. We are so excited and looking forward to all the planning this fall for Hanna's wedding to Seth in Georgia where they live. Our goal is to take a few trips down there once I am finished with school in mid-May. There will also be long-awaited visits with Chloe Caroline and Jack who are all out in Oregon. Nicholas is very happy at his job which occupies much of his time and now Saturdays too. He enjoys time with his girlfriend and is still loving the gym. If the app would let me I'd put a picture of him here too, next time! Thank you for always keeping Darin in your prayers. Darin is doing well, all things considered. It has been a very long road, but he and all of us are sure he will feel more like himself shortly. #WINNING! Here's to positive uncertainty, knowing what we are doing is working out just fine, and staying in the moment. 

Love to you all, Darin, Carla, and Nicholas