Today marks one year. One more year of His goodness, one more year of His faithfulness. Today is a reminder of the hard, but also a reminder of the beauty of His glory. Today reminds us that He can take terrible things and use them for good. The days leading up to this anniversary have been stirring in each of us - our whole family has both dreaded and celebrated the significance of this day. I talked to Courtney last night and asked her permission to share some of the things heavy on my heart and as the Lord would have it, she also had thoughts she wanted to share too. This is a long post, but it has been a year after all. My mom also wanted to share and I’ll put her message below too and my dad as well as our whole family just want to say thank you for all the love, support and prayers, all the meals, acts of service, hugs, everything - we are so grateful.

From Courtney:

I can’t believe today is one year! I wanted to give you all an update and personally thank you for your prayers and all the encouragement you’ve given me and my family. God is good. I’m so thankful to be typing this to you despite many errors and backspacing. I have started this July 5th because I realize it will take me a while. 

This week is my last week of insurance PT (I’ve been given a hard 30 per year by my insurance) but I am pursuing additional visits this year apart from that. I am still going to speech therapy weekly and have another month or so to close out my yearly 30 with those. I took a break from speech this year so the remaining ones are lasting longer. 

My head wound/surgery area is doing much better but it is still tender. It took 6 months to heal/completely close. I’m so thankful to be able to lie on my back sleeping again. My hair is growing but still makes an appearance if I try to wear my hair up. As you know, the left side of my head was struck with the mirror, so the right side of my body is still lacking some feeling. I will say it’s coming back and I’m believing it will continue to. Please pray and believe with me for that.  I still have some ataxia, which is uncontrolled muscle movement/shaking, on both sides of my body but it’s much worse on the left side for some reason. I am able to eat and drink without choking-much better than early on. Praise the Lord for that. I have gone from the wheel chair to a platform(elevated) walker, to a regular walker, to forearm crutches. I am working on the crutches; I have been able to walk on my own a few times (slow steps and not far). Although it’s not where I want to be yet, I see a light to walking again.  I am so thankful for that and I can’t wait to be walking unassisted. I still use my walker at home so that I can get around faster/carry things better.  I’ve gotten better at folding clothes; my mom still helps us with that, among other things, weekly. She is a true gift and blessing to us. My eyes have gotten much better thanks to the help of a dear friend. The Lord truly blessed me with her. Initially, I was extremely sensitive to light, things were blurry, and my double vision was much worse. Now I am able to see 20/20 again with my contacts (my prescription is slightly higher) and my double vision is continuing to improve. I have been wearing prism glasses to help me see single. Please continue to pray I won’t need them one day. 

I have struggled greatly with my left ear. The inner ear has been altered, they don’t recommend additional surgery because it is not guaranteed to fix my issues. I have been doing vestibular therapy for a while and more so lately. Balance is still very much a struggle for me despite my efforts. I get very dizzy when moving my head. The eye trouble does not help the dizziness. It is much better than it once was but I have a way to go yet.

I am thankful to report that I don’t recall or experience physical pain these days. That is a big praise because I know from talking to my family that there was a time I had physical pain. The pain I recall and still experience is more of a heart pain. It has been a joy to watch Titus grow but much of me desires to be able to do more for him than I am physically able. I can’t wait to take him in my arms and carry him around. I don’t think he understands why I can’t do that right now. Please continue to pray with me that I can do that sooner than later. 

I wanted to thank each of you personally for your prayers, encouragement, and gifts of all kinds. I can’t tell you how much that has meant to Caleb and I. Also, to our families. Thank you so so much, I just can’t express that enough. I pray blessings for each of you. I am so thankful to be where I am. My healing journey is far from over but I really have come so far. “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3  One of the many verses the Lord has reminded me of lately. His words have truly gotten me through the days. His grace really is sufficient. If I can tell you one thing besides thank you, it’s to lean in. God is good. He has good things for you.

From mom:

Words can’t express my heartfelt gratitude for all the prayers, love, support we’ve received from so many people. We have all been truly blessed & have grown so much this year. So thankful for my wonderful family & friends. It’s been a tough year for sure but we stand strong in our faith in Jesus & know he’s been with Courtney all this time. I’ve learned so much from Courtney & am so grateful for Caleb being the man he is to Courtney & Titus. We are all blessed & again I say thank you.

From me:

One of the biggest things God is teaching me is how important belief is. I remember getting to the hospital and waiting to hear an update on my sister and giving Caleb a hug and him repeating, “she is going to be ok…God, is going to take care of her” - I remember being not so sure I believed that as firmly as he did, especially when I saw her for the first time. I eventually chose to believe the same, but I honestly had lots of moments of doubt and question. It was a rollercoaster of unknown but God did teach each of us to surrender the circumstances and give Him the outcome. The other day I heard the song by Elevation Worship, “More than Able” - it brought back these memories of those days. Each day needing to be a day of full surrender of our desire, in exchange for His. It really made me think how quickly I go back to prioritizing my own ways above His and my desire for specific outcomes. When I realize I am helpless, it is easier to go to Him, but in my day-to-day, do I seek Him and His way? Do I believe He is who He says He is? Do I surrender each day to Him knowing He is more than able to work all things, even the mundane, for His glory and my good?

Faith and obedience are the actions of belief. It is easy to say “I have faith” but much harder to live like you believe. In the Gospels when Jesus performed many miracles, He would question the disciples’ lack of faith by saying, “Do you now believe?” (John 16:31). Just like He asks the disciples, He has been asking me, after seeing these miracles, “Do you now believe?”...”Why do you put limits on what I can do?” He is calling me to believe daily; to dwell in belief, for when I believe, I can exercise the actions of faith and obedience.

Who are we to deny what the Lord can do? None of us can comprehend His limitless power or His limitless love. He sees all, knows all, and rules in all. The “good” and the “bad” - He uses it all for a greater good, His glory. He takes us through hard things to grow our faith because He loves us. He wants our belief, our heart, our surrender. He wants us to let Him be The Authority of all our outcomes. He wants us to trust Him in the valley and on the mountaintop. God allowed this tragedy to grow faith. Remembering this day is important because it brings more glory to Him. We love each of you and will forever be grateful for all the ways you served us, loved us, and prayed with us. Courtney is a gift and He has been working out His beautiful work in her. Her faith and obedience to Him have encouraged my heart and I know many of you as well. We will continue to trust Him with the outcomes of her story - He is in this and He will be glorified. Like Courtney has said countless times over the past year - “for His glory, not mine.” Please continue to pray with us for full recovery and restoration for Courtney but more importantly for His outcome - we trust Him, knowing He loves her more than we do and His plan and His way can be trusted fully.

“God’s way is perfect. All of the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. For who is God except the Lord? Who but our God is a solid rock? God arms me with strength, and He makes my way perfect. He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights. He trains my hands for battle; He strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow. You have given me your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me; Your help has made me great.” Psalm 18:30-35