My name is Conrad, I am 54 years old. Today’s date is 9-06-2020. A little bit about my background and personal history.  I was never an advocate of going to the Dr. I have never liked needles or blood draws. I was brought up with the mentality that if your not gushing blood, it can’t be that serious, power through it. I will do my best to lay out my health issues with dates, symptoms and health issues that lead up to today. I will also say that my wife’s brother died of colon cancer in 2012 at the age of 49. RIP Kevin Martin. She had been suggesting that I get a colonoscopy for several years. I dreaded the thought of it. 

My Symptoms

Blood in stool.

I began having symptoms near the end of summer 2019. It started with blood in my stool Mid summer along with diarrhea  I attributed those symptoms to a change in my diet. I had been wanting to lose a few (25) lbs so I switched my diet to oatmeal with whole milk  for breakfast and salad and yogurt for lunch.  Online advice stated these foods could potentially give me diarrhea. I also started eating berries in oatmeal and yogurt, mostly strawberries and blueberries. I attributed color changes in my stool to the berries. The bloody stool symptoms went away after about a month. I worked through it. 

Diarrhea

In late Fall 2019, my diarrhea got to the point where it was almost uncontrollable. I had close calls almost daily.🙁 I could have several movements before 9:00am. The uncontrollable part lasted for about 2 months. Because I work for the school system, there is always a bathroom nearby, Thank God! I also attributed this to my diet but started to question the normality of it. I switched my diet from whole to skim milk. The uncontrollable diarrhea slowed down after the first of the year. I still had sporadic diarrhea but not uncontrollable. I worked through it!

Weight loss

From the start of 2019 school year to Christmas, I lost about 35 lbs. I was happy my diet was working. I had never had issues drinking whole milk before but attributed The diarrhea to switching to whole milk and eating yogurt. I worked through it!

Light headed and dizzyness

Moving to Colorado from Wisconsin can cause elevation sickness, sometimes for weeks, even months. When We moved here January 2019,  My wife Lisa and I both had elevation sickness. When those symptoms came back late summer, I thought it to be elevation sickness and the very hot Colorado days. This lasted about 2 months, I worked through it!

Fatigue

This symptom drained my energy, I attributed this symptom to elevation sickness, the physical aspect of work, the hot Colorado weather,getting up early for work and getting old. Some days it was hard just to get out of bed for work. I would come home and sleep.  It felt like I was tired all the time. I was also having a hard time getting eight hours of sleep. I would go to bed at nine but wake up at 2 AM and not be able to get back to sleep.
I worked through it!

 

Back pain 

in the early summer of 2020 I developed a back ache. It started as a small back ache. That could be from work or just sleeping wrong. It was higher up near middle of the back, not lower back like I was accustomed to. After two weeks and lots of ibuprofen or Aleve, it was not going away but getting worse. Our school system has a clinic to all district employees and I stopped to talk about my back ache and sleeping issues. I was prescribed a muscle relaxer. These helped me sleep. 
I worked through it!

I never Had all these symptoms at one time, they just randomly came and went. I thought to myself if this is what old age is going to be like, I’m not going to get along with it. 

Research

I started researching health issues such as Crohn’s disease, kidney disease And other stomach related issues .  After Grouping all of those symptoms together, they added up to any one of many diseases including cancer.

I scheduled another appointment with our clinic in early June. I spoke with the doctor about all of my symptoms over the last year.  She was Deeply concerned and scheduled a colonoscopy through the Penrose Hospital in Colorado Springs. They called and told me mid to late August for the colonoscopy. I relayed that information to the doctor and she immediately called Penrose with concern and was able to expedite the colonoscopy date to June 26. A week after the Dr appointment , I was scheduled for a COVID test ( negative) 

June 26, colonoscopy day.

The colon cleanse before the colonoscopy is the worst part of the procedure. No food allowed and drinkIng of fluid that cleans you out. And it does! 
The colonoscopy was done in the afternoon at the hospital. Check in wearing COVID mask. Because of the Covid virus my wife was not allowed to sit with me waiting for surgery . They check vitals, you change into a drafty long dress, put in an IV, chat with you for a while, answer questions, the Dr comes in and chats a little more.  The IV drips in the knock out juice and your out before you count to ten. 
I woke up, no pain, a little groggy from the anesthesia. I was was in a different room. My wife was sitting next to me and because I was still waking up, I thought nothing of it. The Dr’s office had called her in, not to wheel me out but discuss colonoscopy results. The  Dr. Brought Pictures of the colonoscopy and told me That my lower intestine was 60-70% blocked by a tumor. It was cancer! At minimum a very serious stage two. He  also removed two polyps . The two polyps turned out to be non cancerous. He was very concerned and  recommended surgery asap. I had the weekend to talk to my wife and family members about all issues to this point. 

Monday came, a work day, and so did the Dr’s phone calls. I had to take a Covid test, lab work, met with the chemotherapy doctor, and then the surgeon who would perform the  procedure. 

Pre-surgery

Surgery scheduled for July 9, 2020. Barely more than two weeks after my colonoscopy. I am glad the surgery was scheduled quickly, it did not allow me much time to think about the fact that I had cancer and it was serious. It was surreal to me! 
I continued working my Job and living as normal other than going to scheduled doctor appointments. My employer and peers were generously accommodating  about me having to take time off. They were also very supportive emotionally with many having their own story. I went to all of the scheduled doctor appointments. I met with the chemotherapy dr. before  I met with the surgeon. I thought that was a little odd. He prescribed iron pills because my red blood cell count was almost half of a normal adult male. That explained the fatigue and the shortness of breath . A few days later, I met with the surgeon who explained the surgical plan. He was confident about the procedure and had performed many similar procedures. He made me feel comfortable with the surgery.

Surgery.

Surgery was on a Thursday, I worked up until Wednesday. It was different then the colonoscopy prep but the results were the same . Once again I had to do a bowel cleanse, no eating the day before surgery, no drinking anything after 6 AM Day of surgery. I hugged my daughter, told her I loved her. The pre-surgery procedure was similar to the colonoscopy procedure. My wife was allowed to stay with me before surgery.  Check in, change into a dress, have vitals checked, lay down on a rolling bed, have IV put in, talk with pre-surgery staff. Talk with the anesthesiologist. Talk with the doctor. He said I will be in the hospital from 3 to 5 days.   They wheeled me down the hall and into the operating room.  Count to 10. The surgery lasted from 2 to 3 hours.  

Post surgery.

I woke up groggy from the anesthesia.    My wife was in the room and we talked and smiled. My wife had gone home after visiting hours were over. I slept on and off until the following day. 

My stay in the hospital.

After I woke up from the surgery,  The nurse came in and explained how to use the electric bed, the TV remote, took vitals, and how I was feeling in regards to pain, dizziness, nausea. she also said Someone would come back shortly to get me out of bed and walk. I was still wearing a dress and they had put yellow hospital socks on my feet. I had a catheter in and the IV was still in my arm putting fluids into me. I was also taking pretty strong pain medication.  A nurse came in and asked me how I was feeling and helped me slowly turn, swing my legs And Put my feet down to the floor . She helped me to my feet, I took a step but was very dizzy I believe from the anesthesia and I said so. We sat me down onto the bed and the nurse helped to swing my legs and I laid back down.  There was a 6 inch incision in my stomach, the Dr. had removed the tumor along with  12 inches of my lower intestine. The doctor noticed a cyst In my liver, removed it to be tested. The  doctor also removed 15 lymph nodes to be tested. The incision was glued shut , no stitches were used on the outside . I was not allowed to eat solid food but was brought chicken broth, Jell-O, and Popsicles. That was not bad for meal one, unfortunately this became every meal, Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Blah! A nurse came  into my room every four hours to check vitals, check the IV, wake me up and asked me how I was doing. A nurses aide would come in shortly after and get me up for an attempt at walking. I was able to walk Friday afternoon . The maintenance person on duty would come in and empty my garbage can and miscellaneous. The maintenance closet was outside my room and constantly being used.  After the anesthesia wore off it was a Constant parade of hospital staff. I was not getting any rest . Saturday morning I was up and walking down the hallway, progress! The IV bag and catheter were attached onto a rolling cart with handles. I was able to walk Slowly without help. Saturday afternoon the catheter was removed, I was helped to stand up and urinate into a large bottle. This fluid was measured and then emptied each time a nurse or aid would come in to room. I was constantly urinating because I had a constant IV dripping fluid into me. By Saturday afternoon I was annoyed with all of the constant traffic and noise outside my room. I think I walked four times down to the end of the hallway, each time a little bit better and faster. Saturday night was probably the worst nite. As always there’s a parade of hospital staff in and out checking vitals dumping the bottle asking me questions dumping the trash. The evening nurse came in to check my vitals, stepping away from the bed tripped over the IV tube and yanked it causing the needle to almost dislodge from my arm. It really hurt. The bed had become uncomfortable I was only able to sleep on my back because of the Pain From the incision. For whatever reason, it sounded like there was a wrestling match going on in the maintenance closet all night long. When mine or the other patients IV bag would run low a beeper would go off and this became a constant I could hear any deeper going off at any given time on the entire wing where my room was located. The final straw for me was the clock on the wall. It reminded me of an old study hall clock, that tick tick tick. For god sake you are a hospital making a lot of money. Buy a digital clock.  Sunday morning came after a horrible nights sleep. I decided I was going home today. I removed the sensor on my finger and removed the IV from my arm. Removing these items would bring the nurse to check on me and he did. I told him I was going home that my wife would be picking me up sometime around noon. I told him why and he understood and said he would have the doctors assistant come and talk with me. I went for my walk, watched some TV, and the doctors assistant arrived shortly there after. I explained my issues, he was understanding. I also said I wanted solid food and he agreed. I ordered scrambled eggs, cottage cheese, and sliced peaches. It tasted so good!! I called my wife around nine and told her come and get me about 12:30 PM. Four days in the hospital. 

Recovery at home. 

The doctor said 4 to 6 weeks of home recovery, no work. absolutely no lifting for two weeks, then light duty less than 25 pounds for four weeks. 
After I got home, I was able to go to bed and get a good nights sleep. I took a shower since I had not had one since Thursday. it felt so good and then to sleep in my own bed. My wife became my nurse. She was off work due to the Covid virus and it worked out pretty well. She made me light things to eat, mostly soft food like instant mashed potatoes, pudding, pasta, fruit cups. She  brought medicine and ice water. When I needed sleep she would leave me alone. She was awesome. The incision hurt like hell for several days but I had some hard-core pain killers to help with the pain . My first bowel movement after surgery was at home and it felt like a vacuum sucking out my insides at full force . It wasn’t painful. Sneezing and or coughing were very painful on everything to do with the surgery . I got to four weeks and my stomach still had some pain, I am glad I had the next two weeks off. 
During the six weeks off, I had several doctor visits which included a pet scan,  lab work, and several  cancer health related appointments. My intestine and incision healed properly. My red blood cell count went up due to the prescription of iron pills. I became stronger and healthier every day! 

Lymph node 

Out of the 15 lymph nodes removed, one of them tested positive for cancer. This put me at stage 3. This one lymph node potentially put me at a much higher risk of the cancer spreading to other lymph nodes. This one lymph node is the reason why chemo is recommended. 🙁

Employment

My supervisors were fantastic about my time off and that my health is the most important thing . Using my sickleave and personal days, I was able to cover almost 4 weeks of that time off. The generosity of my work peers covered one more week. I was left with just over one week without income plus some misc. hrs for Dr visits. I needed to fill out a few papers for my time off and required Dr release dates including work limitations and restrictions. 

Thoughts on chemotherapy

My initial thoughts were that if they removed all of the cancer, why do I need chemo?  Other thoughts were that if I eat and live more healthy, my immune system will fight off any cancer spread.  Also more testing such as pet scans, lab work and health monitoring should be able to catch any changes in health or red blood cell counts. I was not convinced that I needed chemotherapy. Ultimately it came down to numbers and percentages. Without chemo, There would be about a 50 percent chance that the cancer may return. With the chemo the chances reduce to 30%. 

Chemo port install

A chemo port is a small vessel installed into your upper chest under the skin. The port has a small 4 to 5 inch skinny tube that runs up to a main artery in your neck. This tube is sutured to your artery to receive chemo treatment. The port receives an IV needle Which is attached to a series of chemotherapy drip bags. 
I was scheduled to have the chemo port placed on Monday 8-24. Once again I needed a Covid test. This time it was three days before the procedure so I had to go in Friday a.m. The surgical procedure to install the port was similar to the last two. No food only minimal water all day. Check in was at two, surgery at four. The hospital had not received approval for the surgery therefore it took two hours for the check in staff to scramble and make calls, emails to approve the surgical procedure. The procedure itself was finally approved minutes before they would have postponed the surgery. They brought me into a room, My wife was allowed to wait with me until they rolled me into the surgical room . I changed into a dress, nurse came in to check vitals, hook up IV, everyone moved at a fast pace. One of the hospital staff was wearing a green bay packer surgical hat. 🙂 The anesthesiologist came in and talked About the procedure and His part in it. The doctor came in and also explained the procedure. He was very straightforward and told me that it was going to hurt. This is where cancer became very real from the colonoscopy to the surgery to right now . I was determined not to shed tears but I came very close. I took deep breaths. I counted to Ten. When I woke up and I could not feel the incision or area where they placed the port. My wife drove me home. The following morning I woke up for work and the doctor was correct, it hurt like hell. I took aleve to take the edge off and Worked a full day, it hurt like hell the full day. The following day it still hurt like hell, just a little bit less. 

8-26 Wednesday Chemo day 197lbs

I dreaded this day since it was talked about even before the surgery to remove the tumor. The port still hurt bad from surgery two days earlier. I had a prescription numbing cream that was to be put on an hour before they installed the IV needle through my skin and into the port. Since I worked up until I had to go to the procedure, I put the numbing cream on way too light and well under an hours time. I didn’t know at the time but that was a very painful mistake on my part. 😕  I arrived at the hospital, checked in, temperature taken, have a seat we will call you.  When they called me I was led to a large room that was set up in cubicles, there were four reclining chairs in each cubicle, I believe there were six cubicles. every chair was taken except the one across from me . The nurse came over explained what was going on and what was going to go on. She got all the supplies along with the IV rolling cart. There were two other people in my cubicle and the chair across from me was empty. I wore a very loosefitting T-shirt so they could access through the top. She told me to take a couple deep breath‘s. As I did, she stuck that needle into my chest port. I kicked, I squirmed, I cried out loud because it hurt so dang bad. It took her two tries to get the needle through  the port. I continue to take deep breath’s while the nurse  taped the IV needle to my chest and hooked up the drip bags. My first session has begun. They should have let my port wound heal for a week before they started chemo.  The woman on my left had lost her hair, and was very thin I could not tell her age. She suggested I use a lot more numbing cream and it will not hurt so much. I laid back and watched the drip bag slowly empty, then the next one, then the next one, three total. almost 4 hours getting this chemo treatment. When the bags were empty the nurse hooked up A pump that was set up inside a fanny pack that would go around my waist and continue pumping this last bag for two days. my wife pick me up and we went home.  The skinny tube from the pump to my chest was about 6 feet long and would allow me to take showers and leave the pump outside the shower. 
The pump makes a noise about every three or four seconds that it’s pumping, Almost like a swishing sound. I had to carry this around all day and night while sleeping also. Friday about noon the bag of medicine was empty. I unhook the pump to the tube to my chest. 
I went to the doctors about 4 PM to turn in the pump and have them remove the IV needle from the port in my chest. that did not hurt and only took a couple minutes. It was nice having the pump gone and the needle out. I went home and had a very small amount to eat. I went to bed very early. Saturday morning I woke up and took the dog outside. My head was pounding is though I had hangover, I was weak. I came in and went back to bed and slept until Sunday morning . I felt better but anything that I ate or drank tasted funny. Ice water made my throat contract to where I thought I would choke. I got the hiccups On And off for four days straight. I was not able to have conversations at work because of the hiccups. Wednesday morning I felt pretty good and no more hiccups, my appetite was normal and I felt pretty good. I’m still taking my iron pills. 

(Mostly) Daily journals

8-27 197 lbs

I woke up at 2 AM could not get back to sleep up at five for work. The pump makes it harder to get dressed, go to the bathroom. Work was OK the port in my chest is still very sore I am taking Tylenol for that. Have had hiccups on and off since the chemo began food taste funny

8–28 197 lbs

woke up at 3 AM could not get back to sleep up at five for work pump still pumping, port area in my chest still sore. I still have random hiccups and I am slightly nauseated but my appetite has been increasing steadily per day. 4 PM To the doctors for IV needle removal, turned in pump.

8–29 197 lbs

woke up feeling sick just like having a massive hangover hiccups, I felt tired and wore out. Took the dog out and made coffee but not hungry. Went back to bed slept until 11 AM, ate a small amount and went back to bed slept until 5 PM. Ate some broth, got the hiccups, went back to bed. 

8–30 199 lbs

woke up at seven feel like crap, not hungry, no coffee, I have a headache but no hiccups. I worked on my car for about an hour. I had one cup of coffee and one cup of white rice with milk sugar and cinnamon. no hiccups I helped my wife with small projects around the house.for lunch I had an English muffin with peanut butter and applesauce. I feel wore out and went to bed around nine.

8-31 200 lbs workday

woke up at 3 AM could not get back to sleep, up at five for work. I feel slightly nauseated my head hurts slightly but I feel good enough to go to work. I drink one cup of coffee. I had diarrhea all day, it really sucks. Slight nausea before lunch and fatigued in the afternoon. I slept for two hours when I got home with no Nausea. Bed at 9 o’clock.

9-01 200 lbs workday

2:45 AM wake up, up at five. no nausea the port in my chest itches.no headache today I feel pretty good. I have been debating about riding my motorcycle to work. Common sense tells me it is a risk having this port in my chest and tube running to my artery in my neck. Commonsense prevails and I drive my truck to work. Pretty uneventful per my health. I’m still taking the iron pills, a vitamin supplement, and my appetite is steady. 

9-02 200 lbs workday

I am tired today because of the lack of sleep. I have a pretty good appetite and work is OK. no hiccups, no headache, no problems.

9-03 202.5 pounds workday

awake at 2:45 AM up at five a little bit of nausea. It seems like my work routine keeps my attitude and thoughts of cancer in check. Everyone at work has been very supportive. Bruce Brown my supervisor has been unbelievably supportive and positive. Thank you Bruce. I bet with the chemo doctor via zoom. I told him I felt pretty good and he seem to think that everything was going OK. I addressed my sleep issues.  I am a little concerned about the coronavirus affecting my health. My chemo port hurts a lot less than the first few days. I have an appetite for every meal during the day. 

9-04 203.5 lbs 

wake up at 3 AM, at 4 AM I got out of bed because I could not sleep. my appetite is good I eat oatmeal and have a cup of coffee. I was called about scheduling the next chemo session along with lab work the day before. I told the person that all during this process I was told the hospital would work around my work schedule and that the times that she had given me were unacceptable. She was going to have her supervisor call me and work out a feasible schedule. 

9-05 202 pounds 
up at 6 AM, feel good take dog for a longer walk up the hill. I saw three large mule deer with fantastic antlers, wish I had my camera. No nausea issues, no hiccups, the chemo port still hurts but not as much as last week. No chemo this week. 

9-06 203 lbs 

up at 3:30 AM I cannot seem to get a full nights sleep. I am worried about cancer, employment, wife’s employment. It has been quite the year with coronavirus, protests, cancer diagnosis, I took the dog for a long walk up the hill.

9-07 205 lbs 

it is very smoky outside due to wildfires in Arizona.it makes your nose stuffy and Run and throat hurt. I feel pretty good energy wise and have a very good appetite. I could still feel the port and take very good care not to touch it, Rub it or bump it. 

9-08 205 lbs workday

I feel good with a good appetite and no chemo this week. I plan to go to my brother Clark’s to watch the first Green Bay Packer football game of the season. he is near Boulder. no problems with the chemo port at work. The HR department wants a release  letter from my doctor with schedule for my chemo treatment. They are very quick to request stuff from me but not very quick to answer my questions. 

9-09 205 lbs workday

woke up at 1:30 AM but was able to get back to sleep up at five for work. I feel good but have a stuffy nose because of all the smoke that was in the air for the last several days. I took an edible to put me to sleep. work went well, I bumped the chemo port and it hurt a little bit but not terrible. my appetite is good and I feel pretty good overall. I stopped at the dentist because I had a teeth cleaning scheduled. I filled out a 10 page questionnaire. They saw I had cancer and refused to do the teeth cleaning but they did the x-ray. They are going to contact my chemotherapy doctor and get his permission to clean my teeth. 🙁 pretty lame!!i’m the one with the cancer why do I have to jump through the damn hoops?  Well I’m glad great clips didn’t make me get Doctor’s permission to cut my hair. Couple more Chemo sessions it might fall out on it’s own anyway. 

 

9-10 203lbs workday

I actually slept until four this morning. No problem eating breakfast take the dog out pack my lunch and go to work. Work was very busy we were trying to clean out Storage bays in our parking area and in the cold storage warehouse. Lots of material to move, relocate or dispose. Lots of moving stuff around and we were able to get rid of some stuff to make space lots more to do. The amount that I need to pay out of my pocket at this point is around $7500 after insurance has been applied. I Have not seen  a bill for the chemotherapy yet but I am sure it is on its way. I’m also paying for insurance for the three of us which totals around $1100 per month. Since my wages are rolled into the schools yearly budget, I was not able to cover all of my time off after surgery. I am being charged approximately $172 for days that I missed for surgery, colonoscopy, chemotherapy. I never thought I would have to pay to be sick!

9-11 203 lbs workday

my appetite was OK at work there was a lot of discussion about the twin towers being blown up including conspiracy theories. I seem to have more energy taking the iron pills. My health is almost back to normal with a lot less fatigue, and shortness of breath. I am careful with the chemo port and how I lift or carry items. received another bill from the hospital for over $17,000. 😟

9-12 206.5 lbs

I Have gained. several pounds. I would prefer to stay around 200 pounds or even a little less..Lisa and I went out to look at some resale shops, were looking for a couple small woodworking projects. We were only going to be gone about 40 minutes and it ended up being four hours. It was fun but not eating for four hours or have any water is no good. Cancer is always in the back of my head. I have my next chemo session this coming Wednesday with the lab work Tuesday late afternoon. 

9-13 205

I want to Clark’s to watch Packer game against the Vikings. Packers won and my appetite was good had a couple hard ciders did not seem to affect me. I did get nauseated later in the evening after I ate something for dinner.I worry about that my next treatment and I worry about the chemo port and how that will affect my employment. 

9-14 205 lbs     Workday

Up at 3:30 AM couldn’t get back to sleep, got up about 4 AM. If I can’t sleep I may as well go into work. Still thinking about my next treatment which will be on Wednesday.  I dread the chemotherapy it just makes me feel like shit. Not to mention the pain from the IV needle hopefully not as bad this time. Oh well, I just need to go about my workday. The dog had to go into the vet this morning looks like he lost about 10 pounds not a terrible thing for him. 

9-15 204 lbs workday

work as usual I have been going in a little bit early every day in order to collect a few hours to make up for my chemo session. my biggest event today is lab work at 4:15.  Still do not like needles or the process. I went directly from work in the hopes that they could get me in early which they did. I am also happy that the hospital is working with my schedule thank you to the Colorado cancer center. 

9-16 204lbs workday    3:30 AM

I went to work as usual, arrived one hour early to comp that time. 
I skipped lunch because I was out at noon. Go home, Change out of work clothes, find my snack bag, Lisa took me to The hospital for treatment but she’s not allowed and therefore drop me off at the door. Went to fourth floor had temperature checked, checked in, we did with about 30 other people. A different nurse named Chris brought me back said she would be my nurse, brought me into the chemo cubicle, larger room than last time eight chairs. I had prepped the port with the numbing cream and covered it with saran wrap one hour earlier. Chris took off the saran wrap prepped the port area with rubbing alcohol. She had the IV needle attached to the tubes which would then attach to the IV which would hang up above my bed. I told her how much it hurt for last time and how I did not like this process. She understood asked me about side effects from the last treatment. As I’m talking to her about the side effects she said take a deep breath and pushed the IV into the port. It was not as severe pain as last time but it was a pretty sharp pain. Three hours of drip bag into my chest. One bathroom break to urinate. I may have slept for about an hour . After the bags are gone, Chris hooks up the chemo pump explains how to unhook when it runs out. I text my wife and she picks me up at the curbside. Since I had skipped lunch I was hungry. We grilled up some burgers and hashbrowns with yogurt for dessert. 
Side effects of the chemo. tingling in the fingers, pins and needles. Pins and needles in my feet when I walk. My tongue is partially numb, anything very cold to drink contracts my throat substantially and makes it hard to swallow. Cold items also make my Fingers feel like pins and needles holding them. Medium size hangover feeling in my head . Because of the Fannypack and chemo pump, it takes longer to dress, undress, shower. I always have to be aware of the pump especially the tubes going up to my chest which I wear underneath my shirt. 

9-17 205lbs  3 AM

up at 4:15, appetite is OK so I eat some oatmeal with fruit in it. One cup of coffee and one to go. tongue is still partially  numb. can’t go back to sleep may as well go into work. I left at 4:30 and got to work about 5 AM. A little bit tired just from not getting enough sleep but mostly feel OK. I helped Steve today we had to cut down doors in to gymnasiums because they are put down new floor. Is metal doors a very heavy it’s very busy work to finish both in one day.  We did it and I don’t think I worked any less because of my porch or my chemo. 

9-18 204 lbs workday 3:30 AM

The chemotherapy wipes me out makes me feel tired hung over and all of the symptoms along with the nausea, headache, my tongue is still numb. I have to work hard to push myself to get through the day. My port pump ran out about 1 PM so I was able to takeoff the Fannypack clamp the hoses and remove that item . My appetite is OK but I do have nausea and have to force myself to eat. Pick ups seem to come out random whether I’ve eaten or not and it is very annoying it’s hard to hold a conversation with anybody. Went to hospital after work to have the IV removed from my port. The worst part is removing the tape around the needle because it pulls on the skin that need all the hair on the skin. It is a relief when all of that is removed. My second of 12 sessions is completed, yay. 

9-19  203.5lbs. 7 AM

I actually got a full nights rest last night it feels good. I have nausea and a headache this morning not really hungry. A little bit of dizziness. I surely don’t like the chemotherapy it just really has some side effects that I am not used to. Headache, dizziness, pins and needles feeling in my hands and feet, nausea, hiccups, diarrhea, short term memory.

 

9-20 201.5 lbs  7 AM

I still have the hangover feeling head hurts nausea and dizziness.  I also had some mild chest pains not sure if that’s to be taken seriously or not . Everything tasteS funny my tongue is still partially numb. I was able to eat some hashbrowns and eggs and coffee. I hope I feel a little better for work tomorrow. Lisa and I are working on a couple small projects. Tiling the steps inside the garage and sanding a dresser to paint  for graces room. I had a conversation with a friend from work who asked me if I blame God for this cancer. I said no as a matter of fact I feel that this has brought me closer to God and allowed me to reach out to people that I have not been in contact for years. With God there is always a reason and a lesson, we just don’t always see it right away.

9-22 4 AM  101.5 lbs
I went into work one hour early in order to work on Gracie’s dresser new top and legs for it. I feel OK I got enough sleep overnight. My head does not hurt like the last couple days. I may not add more to the journal unless I have some type of health event otherwise I feel pretty good and I am happy to wake up every day and enjoy life to its fullest. 

9-23 202.5  3 AM Workday.

I could not get back to sleep.  It is starting to wear on me. I feel tired today. I had a slight nosebleed that seem to last about 12 hours. I certainly bleed and bruise more easily. Still have needle marks from the blood work from last week makes me look like a junkie. Power through it!

9-25 202 3:00am workday

i cannot seem to stay asleep. I trust that God will help me through all of this, whatever the outcome. I worry more for Lisa and Grace. 

9-27 204 lbs 3:00AM

Woke up and can’t get back to sleep. 

9-30 205lbs 5 AM

Today is chemo day so I bring  snacks to work Instead of lunch I should be done at 11:30. I go home pack my chemo bag and forgot to bring my phone to the hospital. I get upstairs for check-in. There has been a mixup because nobody had registered me for chemo treatment today. This is complete bullshit because I registered for two treatments with the schedule supervisor. I may have second-guessed myself but Lisa also was in on the conversation and wrote the dates down and put the schedule into her phone. The person registering me had sent an email back to the chemotherapy room and they said my intervals were supposed to be one, three and five weeks. Well here we are at week five???I am not happy but do not say anything but call Lisa to pick me up. I will request that the hospital compensate me for my time. If I miss an appointment I certainly would get charged for it.  Rocky Mountain Cancer Center please get your shit together!!! 
not happy! 

10-29-2020  212 lbs work day

wake up at 5 AM for work. today is chemo day. I have  been feeling pretty good, my appetite is good because I have gained half of my weight back since surgery. It has been four weeks since my last chemo session. I have not been looking forward to it.. I have gotten cards and gift boxes from people and it is very special to know that I am loved.
I put the numbing cream on about two hours before my session. I leave work approximately at noon for my 115 chemo session at Penrose hospital. Lisa brings me to this session in case I do not feel well when it is over and I’m not able to drive or am getting sick. I am very lucky to have her helping me. The prep and the IV needle insert are not as painful as the last two. There is only one other person in the cubicle now But by the time my almost 3 hour session is complete, 10 people have come and gone through my room  to receive chemotherapy in some form or another. Someone is throwing up just inside the exit door as I am leaving . 😟Lisa picks me up, we go home, I have some more of an appetite since I skipped lunch today in case I would be sick. I am not really hungry but I know I need to eat. The hospital sent me home with the pump that I wear until Friday afternoon. This pump becomes more inconvenient the longer that you wear it. It is harder to take a shower, and have a good sit down crap session  without this pump getting in the way somehow or pulling on the IV needle in your chest, that really stings. I was able to go to work Thursday and Friday without much issue. Friday afternoon I could feel the chemo catching up to me and I was ready to be home. I am not sure how I should be feeling compared to how other people handle chemo but I try to power through everything in order to work or to get things done around the house. Stacking firewood seem to be a priority on Friday and Saturday. The chemo has a good way of kicking you in the ass but we The chemo has a good way of kicking you in the ass but we stacked wood until dark on Friday and half a day on Saturday. Then I slept. Chemo catches you, you can’t get away from it. 

11-07-2020 210 lbs Saturday. 

I woke up in middle of nite, hands were extremely itchy and swollen from scratching. I had not experienced this side effect before today. I have welts from my hands to halfway up to my elbows. This must be from the chemo treatment. I thought maybe it was from changing oil in truck. Got oil on hands. It is almost unbearable and will call dr’s office on Monday. Worked outside most of day. Retaining wall back of house. My hands itched all day...and only got worse. I took Benedryl and anti itch cream. Did not seem to help. 

11-13-2020 213 lbs Friday

I have been itching since my last entry a week ago. Affected areas are hands, wrists, forearms, top of toes and feet, ankles, knees.  It  is comparable to mosquito bites and constantly scratching sometimes to the point of bleeding😟 another chemo side effect. 
11-15-20 115lbs 

My arms itch like crazy, mostly wrists, forearms and back of hands.  

11-29-2020 213 lbs

my fourth chemo session.  It is been a week ago today  since I remove the pump on a Sunday. My Side effects are worse after the fourth treatment than my last three treatments. My head has hurt all week. I had diarrhea for several days following the pump removal. I had nausea for 3 to 4 days after the pump removal. Still itching and scratching not as severe as the last treatment. I am tired of chemotherapy. The doctor wants to put me on every two weeks at this point. It is going to suck but I would rather get the chemo done with. The scheduling department still does not have their shit together. With the COVID-19 at hand, most non-essential businesses are closed or cut way back on capacity. The virus itself is running rampant across the country and feels like it is closing in on our household.  

12-13-2020 Sunday 214 lbs

My chemo treatment was on Wednesday with the pump removed on Friday. I slept most of the day on Saturday. Pretty typical after treatment. Felt pretty bad and still do not feel good today. Dizziness, Random hiccups,  nausea, diarrhea, lightheadedness,my tongue has been partially numb with nothing tasting good and my mouth tasting weird. I cannot wait for chemo to be done unfortunately I am only on my fifth session with seven more remaining. It cannot go fast enough. The best thing I think that I could do right now is to drink lots and lots of water and flush this godforsaken poison out of my body. it is like having a five day hangover. 
12-16-2020 115 lbs Wednesday

I finally feel normal again. The chemo affects me for about six or seven days after initial treatment..The chemo affects me for about six or seven days after Wednesday treatment. I find it just a bit humorous that the hospital gave me a hazmat cleanup kit in case my chemo or pump should spill. Never mind that they are running that poison through me, for seven days 

12-28-2020 215lbs Monday

The hospital called last week and wanted me to do a chemo treatment over Christmas. They did not ask me my schedule or acknowledge that I even existed. They just put me on their schedule and sent me a text message with appointment for lab work, Zoom meeting,  chemo treatment, pump installation, and then pump removal. I have the week of Christmas off of work per my employer, I am not going to be miserable from a chemo treatment on that week off. For the last several days I can feel the residual effects of the chemo therapy. Everything taste a little bit off, my tongue is partially numb, I do not feel like myself. It feels like I have less patience, and tolerance for anything. 

2-10-21 217lbs wednesday

chemo treatment 6/12 

neulasta treatment 1/6

It has been before Christmas since my last treatment, New year means new deductible and insurance communication. Money talks over everything else including health.As has been the case I had gotten my blood drawn on Monday the eighth. 
Tuesday I spoke with one of Dr. Decarolis associates Shirley. we talked about my health, symptoms, ups and downs etc. if I have concerns or questions now is the time to address them. Write them down if you have to. It is important for them to document your conditions so they know how to better treat either me or the next patient. She also explained that they were going to give me neulasta. This is a drug that is injected 24 hours after chemo treatment. It is a small patch taped to the backside of my left bicep. The purpose for this drug is to increase my white blood cell count. It was lower than an acceptable level for chemo treatment.Neulasta side effects include pain coming from inside your bones and or bone aching. As of this date I have not experienced any bone aching or symptoms from the Neulasta.. 

symptoms

I had gotten the hiccups on three occasions mostly Saturday and Sunday.. I had very itchy skin including the palms of my hands my forearms and biceps for about two hours on Wednesday The 16th. I had nausea from Saturday to Sunday to Monday with medium to strong nausea feeling on and off at any random time. My head really hurt Saturday Sunday and Monday. It is very similar to having a massive hangover. Can’t focus, can’t eat well, I did not do very much for those three days except drink as much water and fluids as possible no liquor. 
The smell of certain things is almost sickening. The smell of burning tobacco is just nauseating.. I have not taken a nausea pill as of today’s date.

3-02-2021  214 lbs Tuesday

chemo treatment 7/12

neulasta treatment 2/6

I have taken Monday and Tuesday off because I have not been well. My head is been pounding and I have felt nauseated although I have eaten A little. My appointment last Wednesday was pushed back to Thursday due to the lack of mobilization and transport of chemo medicine from Texas. They had a big snow storm which crippled the state temporarily. I pretty much slept on Sunday and Monday with my head just pounding. It still hurts today Tuesday but feels like it’s getting better. My side effects have been hiccups, lightheadedness, dizziness, nausea, numbness of my mouth and tongue, nose bleeds, very very fatigued, back ache, muscle ache. I have sores on inside of my mouth and drool frequently during sleep. Not been able to sleep, waking up at 2-3 am every nite this week. Wears me out. I am very tired of taking the chemo and now the Neulasta also seems to have side effects like bone aches, backache, muscle ache, when will it all end? I can see why people taking chemo eventually just give up. This treatment wreaks havoc on your psyche and your physical abilities. My wife and daughter have been awesome support for me and are very encouraging and supportive. I must also mention my dog tracker who rarely leaves my side and seems to know that I am sick. It has been hard just to take him outside and walk around the house because I am so fatigued. This treatment seems to have affected me twice as long.

Friday 3-05 still have light head symptoms. 

3-10-2021 215 lbs wednesday

Treatment 8/12 

I surely cannot wait for the chemo to be finished. my side effects today the 11th are Random hiccups, Bad heartburn I believe from the red Gatorade. I am lightheaded but my head does not hurt yet. My tongue is partially numb and I cannot have any drink with ice in it. My pump will be removed tomorrow with the Neulasta patch put on. 
3-16-2021 Tuesday

I still feel like hell from chemo treatment I still feel like hell from chemo treatmentfrom last week. My head still hurts with dizziness to go with it. I have taken off from work yesterday and today because of this particular side effect. My tongue is still numb and I can still taste the chemo in my taste buds. I have had a bloody nose for four days. The Neulasta has made my arms and legs sore along with my back.this treatment cannot go fast enough and be done with it!!!

3-28-2021 Sunday 216 lbs

treatment number 9/12/2021

The doctor cut one of my chemo medicines down to stop the headache problems. As of today it has helped with not having such a pounding in my head.. I hope to be able to go to work tomorrow feeling mostly normal, I do feel better today than I did yesterday. I also do not have that extreme headache that I had from the last two treatments. It made me miss two workdays from each of the last two treatments.. 
Side effects A little bit of nausea, lightheadedness, my tongue is numb and I can taste the chemo in the back of my throat. Disgusting. my senses seem to be magnified because loud noises really bother me, the aftertaste of anything I eat is disgusting and makes me almost vomit. I had a bloody nose that lasted almost a week but has now subsided. The dizziness and the lightheadedness are probably the worst symptoms. I truly hope that this treatment is worth it because it has made me feel like I’ve lost six months of my life from the chemo treatment.. 

The nulasta treatment was distributed last night and I pulled off that patch after it had completed. So far No side effects from the treatment. 

3-29-2021

waking up this morning I still feel dizzy but do not have a pounding headache like I have had previously. I am thankful for that but have taken the day off just because of the dizziness. I do not feel that I would be safe on a ladder or any elevated position for work. I just really cannot wait for the chemo to be completed. 

4-12-2021 218 lbs  Monday

treatment 10/12

I was lightheaded this morning so did not go to work.. I do not have a pounding in my head like the previous treatments, that was several days of headaches. Unrelenting! I have some nausea and some bone aching due to the Neulasta. I was able to get out of bed Saturday and Sunday but needed several resting periods. The lightheadedness makes it hard to focus on most things for long. Other side effects include numbness of tongue, foul taste in the back of my throat. I will be so thankful when this is all completed. I just want to feel normal again. I have not felt like myself for six months or more. I feel like I can never get enough sleep or rest.  I may never be the same person, maybe this experience has changed me into the person that I needed to be? 

4-26-2021 220 lbs Monday 

11/12 chemo treatments completed.

I had to take today off from work, again. I am lightheaded and dizzy from the chemo. I have a headache for which I have taken ibuprofen. This has gone on since Friday. My tongue is still partially numb and I can taste the chemo in the back of my throat. Other symptoms are that I have are ringing in my ears, feeling weak, not really nauseated but not hungry. I woke up sweating Saturday night and Sunday night.  Lisa and I went for a short drive yesterday but it makes my headache worse. Two hours was more than enough. One more treatment and God willing will not have to go through this again ever! Also, this would have been my last treatment of Neulasta.❤️

5-01-2021  Saturday Eyesight issues

i noticed a small blurr at bottom of my right eye. Did not think much of it.

5-02  Sunday The small blurr has turned into a large blurry orb that has taken over half of the vision in my right eye. I spoke with Lisa about this and decided no emergency room but would address this ASAP Monday morning. 
5-03 Monday  The burry orb has taken over 3/4 of my right eye. I call in sick to work, I cannot see well enough to drive. I call our district clinic and they refer me to an eye specialist, I called and left message. 
I also called my personal optometrist, the Drs’s not in Monday’s but referred me to another specialist. Called pinnacle eye care. They called back within an hour and set an appointment for 2:00 pm. Lisa drove because I had lost all vision in my eye at this point. The doctors visit took approximately three hours, much eye testing. It was determined that my right retina had torn, inside Was filling with fluid. I was sent next door to Pinnacle retina care to schedule surgery tomorrow (Tuesday)

5-04 Tuesday-surgery day

I needed to be at the surgeons by 9 AM to be prepped for surgery at 10 AM. As is typical for surgery I met several nurses, the anesthesiologist, and the surgeon. I can say with conviction that I hate needles even though I have been poked and prodded more this year than my entire life. I was only given local anesthesia for the surgery so I was awake for all of it. The surgery was less than one hour. Lisa pick me up because I could not drive. I was awake and actually hungry after surgery. We went home and I rested because I was stressed out. 

5-05-21  Wednesday post-op Doctor appointment

815 met with Doctor. He said everything looked normal, the eye bleeding was normal, the retina was still attached where he had Lasered it in place. I was given instructions and restrictions. Three weeks before I can return to work. 😒not happy about it but I only have one pair of eyes so I need to be diligent about the instructions. he also told me I could finish my last chemo session. Hooray hooray!

2:00 pm My 12/12 chemo session

this is my last session, hopefully forever. The room is very full today almost every chair is taken. I find my own chair and the process is the same. Clean off the port using rubbing alcohol. Stick the needle into my port, round up all the supplies. The first two bags are an anti-histamine and an anti-nausea medicine. Takes about 2 1/2 hours. The beeper goes off when the bags are empty. The nurse then hooks up the chemo bag, put it into my fanny pack, and send me on my way. I am so happy this was the last one, can’t wait to remove the chemo Fannypack. The doctor said they will remove the chemo port after my next few blood tests and CAT scan clear me from any other cancer. 

5-10-2021 Monday 217 lbs

My chemo symptoms are pretty typical for a Monday following treatment. My chemo symptoms are pretty typical for a Monday following treatment.my tongue is numb. I am lightheaded and a little bit dizzy. I have had a little bit of ringing in my ears. The numbness in my tongue makes all food taste different, and not in a good way. Can’t wait for that to be gone. I drink as much fluid as possible to wash it out from my system as quickly as possible. My eye is doing better, cannot see anything clearly but I am able to see light and the redness is starting to clear up. I feel I am on a downhill slope now to be clear from cancer and problems with my eye. I am wearing a green hospital band on my left wrist to show that I have a gas bubble in my eye.  I also did one last Neulasta treatment and that was removed Saturday evening around 9 PM. I truly hope that this does not return, I don’t know that I could take another bout of chemo therapy. Once again, I see why people give up, it just kicks your butt. I will see the eye doctor in a couple weeks. I will also have a CAT scan, bloodwork, and colonoscopy to in sure that the cancer has not spread and is gone. Cannot wait for a clean bill of health.❤️🙏

8-27-21 213 lbs

I had bloodwork done two weeks ago and a CT scan last Tuesday. I hope that this is the final chapter of cancer for The rest of my days. No results yet, the waiting is always the hard part. This has been quite a year of health issues for me, first the cancer and then losing site in  my eye. I know God has a plan for me, but I sure wished it had included a little more motorcycle time this year.. I feel much healthier and my eye is very slowly getting back to where it needs to be. Until I hear the good news from the doctor I will continue to hold my breath.  And pray!❤️ 

9-14-21 weight 214 this weight is about 12 pounds less than when I was first diagnosed with cancer. 
thank you all once again for your thoughts, kind words and prayers. 
I received the results from my doctor, I am cancer free. I cannot describe the weight that has been lifted off of me. Through my eight months of chemotherapy, I worked full-time even though I was sick and nauseated throughout. chemotherapy does it’s best to knock you down and almost kill you.  It kills the cancer by almost killing you as a person. It also kills your ambition and motivation.   At the end of chemo, I began taking off Mondays following treatment from the previous Friday  because it was very challenging just to get out of bed, dizziness, nausea, weak  it was having more effect on me at the end. At work, there were times I felt like more of a liability than an asset. because of my bills especially my medical bills now, I could not afford to takeoff. Who would cover for me, the government?  I sucked it up because that’s what I do. The biggest effect of chemo is my memory loss. It is hard to retain new information.My attention span has also shortened.  it is hard to explain, the changes are subtle and physically I have not changed much. It has made me a different person. Different or not, my energy level is back to where it should be and I don’t have all of those cancer symptoms. I am thankful for life and I will celebrate it every day. 

I went to my eye surgeon today. After pictures and evaluations, my eyesight in my right dominant eye is improving slightly. The doctor said I will never regain full vision. A second surgery is not an option at this time. Even with the strongest eyeglass prescription, I am still legally blind in my right eye. The list of Things that I have had to give up is more than I would like. 
My motorcycle, golf, any type of event that involves depth perception. A person does not realize how much they rely on both eyes until you lose one. I will try to get a few of those back next summer. it may be a while before I log another entry into my journal so until then, thank you for your prayers.

11-17-21  Wednesday 215 lbs

I had my chemo port removed on Monday, two days ago. It has left a 1 1/2 inch scar and still hurts but it’s starting to heal. I have left my hospital bracelet from the surgery on my wrist. This is to remind me of cancer and chemo. And how I came out of it alive and on the other side. Many do not and my prayers to them and their families. It has changed me but I cannot exactly say how. 
my eyesight has not changed very much since my last journal entry. The right side of my eyeglasses is that the strongest possible prescription for nearsightedness and my vision is very very blurry at best. if it is healing it is not near fast enough. I hope and pray that it continues to get better. 

I have another doctor appointment due to severe dizziness and headaches that lasted four days.that appointment is coming up. 

it has been 3 weeks since the chemo port was removed from my chest. Still healing, there will be a scar from surgery. 

1-28-2022 I was diagnosed with coronavirus on  Wed. 1-16-2022. My symptoms started approximately three days earlier. Severe headache and lower back ache to start.  I was not able to go to work during this time. after three days my daughter and I got tested and both results were positive. I am unvaccinated. After five days of being tested positive, I lost my taste and sense of smell and I felt very weak with bodyaches, very similar to the flu After five days of being tested positive, I lost my taste and sense of smell and I felt very weak with bodyaches, very similar to the flu. I have been in bed almost the entire time only getting up for restroom, very small amounts to eat, and to fill my water glass to stay hydrated. It has been miserable. I feel that somehow I am getting past it, today is the ninth day after testing positive. I still have dizziness which is concerning. My taste and smell have returned, the bodyaches are mostly gone. I will do my best to rest this weekend and make it back to work by Monday. I have read that headaches and dizziness may outlast the virus by weeks even months and I hope this is not going to be the case. I will update caring bridge accordingly. 

4-13-2022  215 lbs Wednesday

I had my colonoscopy about one and 1/2 weeks ago. The results were normal and that is fantastic news. Doctor Lunt noticed no abnormalities. Hopefully, never ever again for cancer. I will have another colonoscopy but not for three years. The procedure itself is not terrifying because you are sedated. The worst part for me was them trying to find a blood vein in order to put in an IV. The nurse poked me three times before they got it right. I will never like being poked with a needle. I feel healthier now than I have in a long time,  it is unfortunate that my eyesight is not 100%. It limits my ability to do some things that I really enjoy doing. 
it may be a while before I add another entry, maybe never. I will keep up with my journal if there are any changes in my health. One of the things that I want to say more often is I am going up to the mountains For the weekend,you probably won’t be able to reach me.👍❤️😎thank you everyone for your prayers, we will never be wrong with God on our side.