Cindy Autry – This is Not the End

Hello,

My name in Cindy Autry and I live in Sanford,  North Carolina.  I am 59 years old.

My husband and I retired in August 2018 and begin traveling the America’s in our RV.  In November  14, 2018 I started having breathing issues when I was lying down and after going to doctor after doctor, a Tynoma was detected in a CT scan intended to evaluate the arteries to my heart.  By this time I was having difficulty swallowing and talking and was referred to a Neurologist.  However, before I could get an appointment, I ended up in the emergency room with Myasthenia Crisis on December 7, 2018. Up to this time, I did not know I had MG so this fight for my life started my MG journey.  Blood tests were sent to the Mayo Clinic while they incubated me and administered the Plasmapheresis treatments every other day.  I was in the ICU for 10 days and my total hospital stay was 13 days.   Thankfully my body responded to the Plasmapheresis by the 3rd treatment and I started to come out of crisis, gained the ability to swallow and talk again.  The diagnosis of MG was received from the Mayo Clinic on Jan 3, 2019.

More tests are scheduled to determine if my tumor is cancer, and more tests are scheduled to understand how my body is impacted by this disease and I think to gather data for future research that will hopefully help someone else.  I have been told surgery is needed to remove the tumor early 2019 which will include me going back into ICU for possibly  2 more weeks and being under a Neurologist’s care for at least 6 – 12 months afterwards to make sure my medications are working properly and I am able to manage my health.

Right now I feel like I slipped overboard and I’m alone in the dark cold water watching the ship sail away with my husband, family and friends frantically looking back at me not knowing what to do, how to help or believing what just happened. 

The best thing is that I feel God’s hand firmly in mine asking me to trust Him.  And I do!!  I can rest fully  knowing God is perfectly orchestrating this difficult journey not with the purpose of breaking me, but rather remaking me into a newer and stronger person.  As I’m seeking His purpose in this situation, I’m starting to learn that life is not tied  to a specific outcome of getting back to normal, but rather a greater value of growing in His purpose for my life in light of eternity.  This is my quest.  Every day I am learning how to communicate my MG , understand my body and celebrate my small victories.  I’m learning to slow down and focus on what is important, how to eat to nourish my body, how to exercise to preserve my muscles without overdoing it.  I’m learning how to live differently, but I’m finding it very satisfying and self-caring.  I’m learning tools I can share with others that may be helpful them and I’m focusing on building relationships.  I feel I am becoming a better person in the mist of this unwanted disappointment.  I have such a greater appreciate for the medical community and all the patients who live their lives tied to this caring community.  I am just beginning my journey and I have a way to go before I will feel more confident in managing this illness in my daily routine, but I’m hopeful I can live a useful and filling life although it will be different.   This is not the end, it is a strange but New Beginning that will become more comfortable as my level of competency in how this disease impacts my body.  I hope to be able to help others along my journey and get to know the community of MG warriors much better to strengthen my own resolve.