Journal entry by Christine Ourada —
"I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Psalm 16:7-8
This past year in particular, I am very familiar with 'in the night instruction', for this is often when He most catches my attention. Middle of the night research and resolutions happen for me then - and while I'd often rather be sleeping, He likely knows this is when I am most teachable.
Today I had a procedure called 'right heart catherization' to see if the pulmonary hypertension (PH) diagnosis was real as my last echocardiogram indicated. It was a very strange procedure (for 30 minutes I had a tube down my jugular vein to my heart), and I loved that the cardiologist preferred no sedation. I'm weird that way. haha. Anyway, good news!!!! All cardiac functions are good and normal! While I could have decided not to do this procedure, I knew too much about the terminal effects of the PH diagnosis that it was causing me anxiety and false symptoms that are most likely my body ridding itself of the toxins of chemo. It was in one of those 'night instruction' times that I made the decision to schedule the procedure....even though it was invasive. In order to get on with life, we sometimes need to do the uncomfortable thing, which often leads to strengthening us for the next thing. (*I am not, at any time, anticipating a 'next thing' 😉)
One last thing that is fairly important..... I learned yesterday from a dear friend from school that she and her husband donated toward my treatment when I started blogging. Unfortunately, and I just learned about this, the way CaringBridge is set up, it may make it seem as though you are giving to the author, but instead your donation is going to the organization (which is a worthy one). I wanted to bring this to your attention, because if any of you did that and didn't personally hear back from me, that's why! I have no way to gather that information and am deeply sorry if you were misled.
Thank you again so much for your prayers and support! I'm praying for you all....and wish you the most wonderful day from my little rustic deck to wherever it is you find joy, solitude and peace!
Love, Christine
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