Trying to understand if I have autism and have been undiagnosed due to my family being so adverse to it... or if its a social thing where everyone is self diagnosing trying to find reasons for certain behaviors...  I've always based things on facts and lococ while masking as a ditz because it was just easier... my mind and body are breaking down, bad. Still no medical help. Still no personal help.... I'm afraid I'm going to die alone, with a body and brain shutting down and no doctors...juat dialysis and they suck