Journal entry by Andrea Petersen —
This last week has been so hard……much much harder than I was expecting. I think we have all been running on such high alert for so many months that we don’t know what to do next. I hate that my mom’s ashes are sitting on the table instead of her being with us…..I hate that I’m not sure Christmas will ever be the same again…….I hate so much that I don’t have a mom anymore. I know I ALWAYS will have my mom and I have felt her many times since her passing but I want to call her….go shopping with her….cook dinner together. I am trying so hard to find the joy but I’m heartbroken. I barely wake up in the morning and my mind immediately goes straight to sad. I know it will get better….maybe not better but different. I guess I really don’t know but I see other people who have dealt with grief and they are ok…..so I will be too.
Her last few days were spent surrounded by family and friends. I made sure every part of her last days were as perfect as I could possibly could……I know there are things I can’t control but I sure tried. The hospice nurses were amazing and made sure we had EVERYTHING we might need. We had all the medications to keep her comfortable. She did not suffer…..I had every medication I could possibly ask for. We took turns sleeping….all snuggled together in our lower level….and made sure someone was always with her. The day of her passing we did a bed bath, put lotion on her, combed her hair, put on one of her favorite comfy dresses and had her looking so beautiful and calm. At the time I didn’t know she would pass in a few hours but I’m so honored and grateful that I was not only able to be her nurse and do her end of life cares but also have those last moments with my mom. My family has learned so much about compassion, putting others needs before your own and the importance of family. My kids have been caring for my mom for 6 months and even though parts of it were hard they would agree that they wouldn’t change the last 6 months for anything!
Her celebration of life is coming up on Friday…..everyone is welcome! My husband will be officiating the service with a few short readings on the top of the hour. The funeral will be open house style so please come anytime between 12:00 and 4:00. We will have great food, drinks, desserts and hot cocoa.
11936 15th St SW
Byron, MN 55920
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