I just want to begin by telling you all how much I love you and how grateful I am that Chad and our family is loved by you all. Thank you from the depths of me to all of you who were able to come say goodbye.

Our family has gone through so much these last few years, but I was reminded by my 14 year old, Wade, that we are not the only ones (he’s a pretty smart kid). It sure feels like that sometimes though. I can’t imagine anybody else going through this kind of grief and tragedy. I couldn’t have possibly imagined what this was going to feel like. These days I have had to look a little bit harder for the positive. Each day I find something. Most days more than just something. There are lots of positive ‘somethings’ surrounding me. I just need to look.

I know my smile doesn’t come as easily and my laughter is seldom heard. But I also know this will pass. In time my “loudest laugh in the world” will return to embarrass my 11 year old, Samantha. I know my constant smile will return. I know in time my focus will be on the good days we had as a family and I will smile instead of feeling sadness because I don’t get any more of those same good days. Our good days will be different, but they will be good.

I don’t believe we were created to stay in a state of sadness for long. We were created in God’s image. We know that God had all of the emotions we feel-- anger, jealousy, compassion, loyalty, regrets. Jesus was afraid and wept.

It’s hard to think this true, but, I know that in time I won’t feel this relentless tugging at my heart. There will come a day when I don’t cry.

In the meantime I will take each day minute by minute. I was created in God’s image. I will overcome. I will remind myself that we are not the only ones. I will turn my heartache into a platform to serve and help others. I will learn to embrace the storms this life has to throw at me and know that it will all be worth it. Without the rain, nothing grows.

So many of you have asked me how you can help. You have asked if I or if the kiddos need anything. The truth is it’s hard for me to know exactly what we need right now. A dear friend of ours set up a Go Fund Me for this very reason. If you are looking for a way to help I have provided the link below.

GoFundMe Whitmans

Another option for helping us would be to support me in my business. I began my second business when Chad was diagnosed knowing that we would need the additional financial support. I have also provided a link below for that.

Rodan+Fields Charity

I understand not everyone is in a place to help financially but your prayers and kind thoughts mean more than I could possibly explain.

Thank you for all that you do, all that you are, and all that you will be.