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Apr 28-May 04

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From waist length hair to a 0 cut is something else, let me tell you.  I did this in stages, I found out I had this ovarian cancer by way of ascites and a 4 1/2 month pregnant look and feel belly on Oct 15, 4 days before my 60th birthday.  

1st stage was getting my braid cut off, and that was an experience unto itself, about 2 weeks after I had been diagnosed with cancer.  My bestie, Jeff Becker, an extraordinary artist and photographer documented the 1st stage cut, and I kept my braid, and a friend after the braid was cut bound it at the top with paracord and a ring so I can attach it to a hat after my hair fell out.

Well, 2 weeks after the chemo started, my hair and scalp began to hurt like the dickens. I suspected something was amiss when that happened, but did not realize how much hair I still had after the cut (just below my ears).

Now, I feel free and it feels very velvety, sort of like velcro when you rub against it...  and it won't cover the bathroom floor or shower and I don't need hair clips, barrettes, or hair products which I was never fond of anyway.  Thanks to my dear Sister Jan for coming in from DC to help me with this difficult thing, taking photos while it happened and not falling apart while it was happening.  She is much stronger than she thinks, and without her, I may have not been able to do it by myself.

This is ONLY the beginning of new hair, even though the old hair is not gone,  I had the 0 cut because I am that kind of person.  Just jump right in and MOVE FORWARD.  There is only one way in this life, forward,  and I know that there was nothing I did or could do to make it different.  The genetics just fell into my bucket and that's that.  Some may find this harsh, but this is not their story.

So far, the experiences I've had that made me the sickest from the chemotherapy, have not been the usual suspects, nausea, not 1 time so far, but I've only had 1 treatment.  Chemo 2 is on Wednesday.  I had a reaction to the bone marrow stimulant drug, Neulasta, lots of bone pain, and the opioid drug they recommended sent me praying to the porcelain princess.   So I've not been back to try another round of that. The cure being worse than the pain I felt..

As most of you who know me, are aware of my lifestyle of living life to the fullest every moment I'm on this good green earth, I intend not to change any of that.  

Never having been on 1 single daily med, it was surprising to me that I ended up with cancer.  That took a lot to digest, and I'm over the guilt now but I kept thinking it was some kind of karmic response to something I had done long ago, that I couldn't recall... But genetics is to blame and there is nothing you can do with the genes you have except learn to endure whatever they cause in you both good and bad.

Thank you very much for your attention, kindness, love, caring and concern.  It's important that I let you in sometimes, and please don't feel dissed if I can't get back to you.  My recovery is paramount and this is NOT GOING TO KILL ME.

How am I going to get to 105 or 107 or even 110 if I don't go through 60.  This is what's happening to me and I KNOW I'M GOING TO SURVIVE.

sometimes I would like to have a day free of the word cancer, but that is not in my immediate future, but I know it's not that far in the distance.

Stay tuned.  I'm going to kick this thing right out, it's not doing any thing for me and can leave through the opened door.

All positive thoughts, prayers, and comments are welcome...

On the other side of this 0 hair cut will be many new styles and a braid clipped to my hat sometimes.

As always, you will never know what to expect.  Always have been a SURPRISE an I hope to always be one to people who know and love me.

Until the next entry, I remain a Cat in the truest sense of the word.
   ^^
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