Three years, four months, and fifteen days since I had my last chemotherapy treatment. Wow. Sometimes it still hits me, shocks me even, that I made it. Being face-to-face with a death defying illness at an age where you think you're invincible, shakes you up a little bit. This year, 2021, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my life and just trying to figure out who I am, why I am, and who I want to be. When I turned 24 this past June, it was such an odd feeling. I remember wondering why I felt all these emotions until I was alone in the shower and it hit me. (those shower thoughts are something else haha) As tragic as it may sound, I just never pictured myself living to see more birthdays. I never thought about the future, I just took one day at a time, praying to God I lived to see another one. After having cancer, my view on life has changed dramatically. I have begun to notice these changes the more I get to know other people and myself. I find myself enjoying life much more than I did before. I often notice myself just soaking in little moments. Standing in the sun, soaking in the warmth on my skin, sitting in silence to hear the world happening around me, and getting excited about small interactions with nature and people. I've begun to talk to God more as well, trusting and leaning on him to guide me. He has shown me that I deserve this life and it makes me not take anything for granted. I have put away a lot of toxic relationships, learned how to use my voice to stand up for myself in a positive way and how to be calm and wait on God's timing. My annual scan is this Wednesday and I wanted to write to tell everyone, God is using my cancer journey in ways I never imagined. I know I will be growing from this traumatic experience for the rest of my life, and I'm here for it. The amount of support and prayers I receive before and after every appointment, reminds me that I am not alone. God is using you guys to show me who he is and I thank you for that. My scan is 9:30am on Wednesday and Friday I will get the results. Prayers are always welcome. Thank you to those who are reading and being with me on my journey.