Facing Dementia Together Many of you have been part of our lives for years, sharing in the joys and challenges that Carol and I have encountered on our journey together. It's with a heavy heart that I share a more intimate look into our current reality, as our journey has taken us on a more difficult road.
The Progression Over the last decade, Carol's vibrant spirit was ever-present, even as the first signs of dementia began to subtly make themselves known. She continued her impactful work with children across Asia/Pacific and East Africa, a testament to her unwavering dedication and love. But as symptoms worsened, denial slowly gave way to acceptance. The diagnosis of Alzheimer's-based dementia in early 2021 marked a pivotal shift in our journey of more than 55 years of marriage..
In these past years, we've strived to live fully, trying our best to embrace every moment with laughter, tears, and love. Our commitment to facing dementia together has brought us closer in some ways and further apart in others, teaching us the value of presence and the profound depth of compassion.
The Hard Reality Since August 2023, the decline has become more pronounced. Carol's short-term memory is fleeting, lasting no more than a few minutes at any given time. The once-rich tapestry of her long-term memories is unraveling rapidly. Heartbreakingly, she struggles to recall the faces and names of our children, and increasingly, she finds my presence unfamiliar. Music, once a bridge to her past, has transformed into a poignant expression of her present state. Carol finds solace in composing notes and random phrases at the piano—no longer connected to memories but serving as a raw outpouring of her current self.
Navigating Each Day Every day brings its own set of challenges. The reality we face is stark, marked by moments of profound sadness as more pieces of the woman I've loved for over half a century slip away. Yet, within this, we find moments of beauty and grace. Carol's occasional smiles and her engagement with her family, grand kids and friends are precious glimpses of her enduring spirit.
The support of our family and friends has been our lifeline, a constant source of strength and comfort. This journey is undoubtedly the hardest we've faced, and the path ahead is uncertain. But the love and care we've received remind us that we're not walking it alone.
Looking Forward As we continue to navigate this path, I am committed to sharing our journey openly. It's important to acknowledge the reality of our situation, no less for the sake of others who may be facing similar trials than for the catharsis it brings to us. Carol's condition is a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the power of love to endure even the most painful of circumstances.
We are profoundly grateful for the love, prayers, and support from each of you. Your presence, both physical and emotional, sustains us. As we move forward, Carol and I cherish every moment of our shared connection with others and every moment we still have together.
Thank you for standing with us. Your support helps illuminate our path with hope and compassion, making the difficult days so much easier to bear.
Over the last nine days since our last posting, there have been significant developments as the disease of Alzheimers has impacted more and more of Carol's capacities. Beyond the few minutes we have of joy, smiles, and laughter when she first wakes up, much of her day is filled with incoherent communication, delirium, hallucinations, and increasingly aggressive behavior (not violent but extended frustration). Along with the struggle to stand or initiate any movement, her core has begun to collapse as more of her mental capacity is impaired. It has become increasingly apparent in a short period of time, that Carol is failing to thrive.
In the midst of this, my sister Patti came to spend a few days. Gifted at the piano, I asked if she would spend her time here at the keyboard, playing and “singing" with Carol, songs that would have been imprinted on her spirit over the last seven decades. What a gift these days have been. While most words failed, she carried near-perfect pitch and even harmonized. There were many tears and equal measure of joy. She relished these hours of encouragement, affirmation of her faith, joy, and praise of the One she has loved and faithfully served.
In the next couple of weeks, our children from the West Coast will be joining us as we navigate this season.
Thank you again for your prayers, love, and support.
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