It's 5:15am and we are about 30 miles south of Sioux Falls, traveling to the Omaha, NE area for Chloe's winter guard competition. I'll worry about the roads most of the way, so I'll type this and then try to sleep.
A couple of weeks ago I met with my radiation oncologist. Diana was wearing a Eugene Field A+ Elementary shirt and we discovered my doctor attended EFA+ for a few of his early elementary years. Good beginnings. We learned a bit more about radiation and then they set their marks and made a mold for my head and arms to rest in so that I'm in the same exact position for every treatment. As has been the case with each step of this journey, every new member of my team has been wonderful and so very kind. Laying on that table for imaging and a practice run of getting the aim just right gave me another pause. Reality setting in.
I've had other moments like that. Similar in my feelings of disbelief, but very, very different. Imagine me sitting in an audience watching Chloe dancing, fiercely performing, whipping that flag around, watching Claire perform at All-State, rolling my eyes and laughing at them carrying on about something, trying to outdo the other. What is this life? Or maybe you can imagine me in my classroom, razzing my kids about something, or more likely the reverse...them flashing their loose teeth at me, begging me to draw another ticket because 75% of them have written my name instead of theirs on their own ticket, or the train of goodbyes at the end of the day ranging from see ya, to cautious leaning hugs to full on, heavy, back patting hugs. What is this life? Imagine me on a stage, lights in my eyes, music surrounding me, singing my guts out, a mass of jumping, grooving bodies, heads thrown back and singing their faces off. I turn around to my band mates, like, what IS this life? It's a good one. And I had breast cancer. And I am loved more than I could ever describe in words. My family, my work family, my friends, some life-long, some newer. The messages, calls, cards, gifts, food, prayers...it's incredible. Overwhelming. Thank you. Thank you so, so much.
Based on many different details, I've been assigned 25 radiation treatments. One a day, Monday through Friday. I've completed five. It's a quick appointment and the first 5 have left my skin unscathed. Hoping for more of the same, but prepared for skin changes if they come.
We have some light and the snow has let up for now. Looking forward to competition. I'll be listening for the satisfying "gack" of a well-caught rifle and snap of flag silk. IYKYK 🥰
Much love,
Cara
