Sunday, May 19, 2024 - Current Status
Hello! Here we are in warm, rainy Coastal Georgia, already over halfway through the month of May. We are coming up on the two year mark of Caitlin’s injury, less than a month from now. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.
Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the deep state of shock in which I have lived for the majority of this time. Survival mode. When I think back to the beginning of this…what do we call it? Ordeal? Injury? Crisis? Event? Accident? I cannot find a word that embodies the magnitude of what happened to our family on June 16, 2022. I think that when you go into shock/survival mode, you become impervious to the world around you, but you are completely unaware that you are in this state. At least that seems to be my experience. One of my dearest friends recently said she couldn’t believe how little we talk now, that it feels like one of us died. In so many ways; it does feel that way. That makes me sad!
I say all of this because Caitlin and I went to a brain injury support group this week. There are wonderful support groups at Shepherd Center, and I wish I could go back in time and attend more of them. I know that I NEEDED the support, but I didn’t know just how much I needed it, and would need it in the future. Thursday evening, I sat in a warm space of understanding and sharing. My entire being exhaled. Honestly, for the first time since leaving Shepherd. Until sitting in that space, I had no idea how much I needed it. I didn’t know that I was holding all of this angst. Again - as I have said from the beginning - you don’t know what you don’t know. I’ve done the best I could do to support Caitlin and survive. My own needs have felt irrelevant. I am indebted to those who have walked this road ahead of us, and I want to meet more caregivers. I think I need their wisdom. This road is HARD.
Progress…Caitlin continues to make progress in her recovery. Her speech is getting more clear by the week. Yesterday, we never used her iPad to spell words out. I was able to understand all of her words correctly for the entire day. More and more days are like this, and she is using her voice with the general public more and more. I’m so proud of her!
Caitlin also continues to do well with her swallowing trials with water. She is able to cough and clear it when she sounds a little wet, and it appears that she is swallowing the small sips of water. It’s hard to tell for sure, so she will go back to Memorial for a swallow study. It has been nearly a year since the last one, and it’s time to see how the healing is going inside. Her two wonderful therapists are going to accompany her for this study. This will happen on Friday, and we could sure use your prayers and positive thoughts. She is nervous, but we keep trying to stress that this isn’t a pass/fail test. We simply want to see how all the parts are functioning. This will help her therapists plan their therapies. We go at 12:30 for prep, and her study will be at 1 PM on Friday. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Horticulture therapy continues to be an enormous success. Caitlin loves spending time in the backyard, and delights in watching the progress of her plants. I think it is her favorite place, and is mine as well! In addition to all of the flowers and vegetables, we also have so many birds. Right now we have four juvenile bluebirds that recently hatched, and the parents are working on their second clutch. The entire family lines up on the fence. So cute!! We also have a house finch nest on the front porch, with 5 eggs in the nest. Our crow friend is still visiting, though it did steal part of my birdbath water fountain! I begged him to drop it, but instead he flew away with it in his beak. 😂 Anyway…nature has healing properties, and we make the most of it.
Lastly, Caitlin is feeling lonely. She would love to have some friends visit, and would like to make some new friends. It’s tough to be a 30 year old woman stuck in this situation. Her best friend Emily visited today, and I could see the joy in Caitlin’s demeanor. These visits are tremendously helpful.
Again - thank you. All of you. You help us every day. I don’t know where we would be without all of you. ❤️
