Journal entry by Pauline Keeler —
This is the longest we have gone without updates, which is a good thing! It’s been a lot of chemo every other week, which has taken a bit of a toll on my body, at least from a rash stand point. I believe I let everyone know that one of the main side effects of one of the medicines they give me is a rash, that can go all over my body, but mainly resides on my face. It’s become a bit of annoyance for me, unfortunately, because generally once I get to the week of my next chemo, it clears up a bit and starts to get better, then I get chemo again… my biggest problem with the rash, at least recently, is that it gets really scaly, for lack of a better term, which can be painful, itchy, and it looks pretty bad.
Pauline has been on me to keep up on oils, lotions and skin care to try to improve it, to some success, but it still can get really bad unfortunately. It’s a bit of a catch 22, because they say if I get a bad rash, that means it is working well against the cancer. So I don’t want to stop the medicine, but it can get really bad and frustrating. So prayers that I will not be lazy and follow a good routine with my skin care, prayers that the medicine will work, but that the rash won’t be too bad. Prayers that when we go back to Mayo next month that the scans and blood work will still show no cancer and that potentially we can do less of a regimen. I know the doctors want to be aggressive and keep the cancer away, but the frustration is real and cosmetically I feel a bit ugly, if I can be honest. I know it doesn’t matter, Pauline has assured me she is still attracted to me, I’m just not liking the way I look. I actually find myself getting emotional about it as I type this, which is so stupid to me, I’ve never cared how I look and nobody has even made comments about it, but I’m frustrated.
All that being said, I have wonderful support with Pauline, my church, my Lifegroup. My boys even told me today that at their after school program called Good News Club, which is basically a bible study for them, but they do a lot more than that too, they actually prayed for me, which I thought was so cool!
I feel loved and blessed, Pauline was speaking truth into my life last night, definitely felt like it was Spirit led and that she was given the right words at the right time, she really is my God given rock through all of this and I just pray that I can reciprocate to her all the love she has given me.
I know this probably feels like a jumble of words, but I just wanted to give you an update on what’s going on! Those scans and bloodwork at Mayo are 5/22, so be prayerful about those conversations and results.
Thanks as always to all the prayer warriors and people that touch my life on a daily, weekly, monthly basis even, it really makes me feel loved and I am honored and humbled by all the support I have.
With love,
Bryan
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