Hello!

A quick and relatively short update today! Since the last update, we got to celebrate Uncle Joe’s 40th birthday, soak up more cousin time, touch every water tower in Menomonie (right Babu?!), and connect with more friends and family. Benaiah and I are continuing on our journey, trusting God to show us when and where He wants us. We’re taking things day by day and sometimes minute by minute. The more things settle, the more we both feel Douglas’s absence. It’s painful, but it’s also necessary to walk through. We are so thankful for our wonderful family and friends who are surrounding us with prayer, support, and help in any and all ways they can. All things considered, when I attempt to look at the big picture, I think we are doing well! 

Have you ever walked through a season where you felt like you didn’t have enough (strength, finances, sleep, skill, wisdom, resources, answers, courage), yet, you found yourself still making it along somehow?

Twice, in two different books that Benaiah and I were reading yesterday, was the story of feeding the 5,000 (from John 6:1–13; Matthew 14:13–21; Mark 6:32–44; Luke 9:10–17.) This classic Sunday school story has for many become more cliche than wonder-kindling and faith-provoking the way God intends it to be. Here’s my quick version of the story for those who aren’t familiar: Jesus had been speaking to a huge crowd (5,000 excluding women and children) and it was getting late. The disciples were tired out and asked Jesus to send them home before dinner because they didn’t have the capacity to feed them. Contrary to what they wanted to hear, Jesus told them to feed the crowd. The only thing that they had was a boy’s five loaves of bread and two small fish. It seemed like nothing compared to the need before them. Jesus told them to sit down and take a front-row seat to something supernatural. Jesus blessed the food and the baskets started passing and passing and passing until everyone had their fill. And get this: there were leftovers! Can you imagine the sheer amazement that the disciples and that sweet boy had to watch this miracle unfold?! It wasn’t possible-it was God! Jesus took the tiny bit that they had and multiplied it beyond replication or explanation.

Similarly, in 1 Kings 17:8-20:22, God told the prophet Elijah who was running from the wicked Queen of that time Jezebel who wanted his head, to go to her hometown for the next phase of his provision! And who would provide for him there?...a poor widow! When he found her, she was picking up sticks for a fire to make a final loaf of bread with the handful of flour and little olive oil that she had left before they died. Sounds like the perfect channel for God to provide, doesn’t it?!! But Elijah went by faith and invited this woman to believe in His God; trusting that the flour and oil would just keep coming until the Lord ended the drought they were in. The widow took him at his word, what did she have to lose at that point anyway? And sure enough, in her little “yes”, God did exactly what Elijah proclaimed he would do! The flour and oil didn’t run out. No science or reasoning can duplicate that total miracle.

The reality is that we are all empty, broken vessels if it weren’t for God! We just notice it more in some seasons than others. In the season I am in, I have felt my weakness maybe more than in any other season of my life. Countless times this last week, I have thought to myself, How in the world am I functioning right now? How am I upright? How am I getting these things done? Be it taking care of Benaiah while running on fumes, having an encouraging word to speak into someone else’s life out of nowhere, taking care of chores and tasks that never end…whatever is before me each day. And not only am I doing it, but I sometimes have overwhelming joy and hope that is almost eerie. How does a new widow walking through the valley of the shadow, have stregnth not just to take the next step, but also have glimmers of joy?! I look with my human eyes to what I have and it seems so small, but God is doing something. I have had this picture in my mind of clay being stretched and stretched beyond what you would expect it to come order to make a pot; a useful vessel. Somehow, someone is doing a miracle in and for me. But I don’t wonder what or who it is; I know exactly! It’s grace; it’s Jesus. Christ in me the hope of glory. There is just NO other way!

The song “Your Grace is Sufficient” by Shane and Shane has been hard to get out of my head this week. His grace is so sufficient for me and for you! His power is indeed made perfect in our weaknesses. Whatever you are walking through; whatever valleys you may face, His grace is sufficient! All He asks of us is to give Him our YES; be it weak as it may be! Yes in surrender of the little we have and trusting Him to help us. And y’all, His words are true! All of His promises are yes and amen! He delights to show off on our behalf and do what neither you nor any man could ever do for His glory.

God’s blessings and grace to you!

Becky