The large gap in my updates is pretty reflective of the headspace I've been in for the last few weeks. I have realized I have to take some time, take information in and digest it, then I can think about sharing. I think going to the Center in January was "phase 1" and when I got home I had a lot to process about that experience while also needing to plan what was next. And of course, things take time, even when we don't want them to. The waiting made February a particularly difficult month.

After consultations with the team at the Center and a lot of phone calls to find an oncologist who is happy to work with me AND the Center on a bit of a more alternative path to healing (the person I finally found is a true Godsend and I'm grateful to have him on my care team!), I can officially say we have a plan in place.

I will be going back to California starting this week for phase 2 of treatment - the kill phase. I'll be doing low dose chemotherapy, along with continuing many other immune boosting and supportive therapies that I've been doing, for the next few months to shrink the tumor ideally down to nothing. We fly out Thursday, I have a minor port placement procedure on Friday, and Monday/Tuesday is my first round of chemo. 

This modality has been shown to have great outcomes for people with my diagnosis and it reduces the toxic side effects and risks that a standard dose of chemotherapy unfortunately comes with. I will very likely be making weekly airplane trips back and forth for my "commute" to the Center, which will allow me to continue to spend time with those I love while also receiving this incredible therapy. I will spend two days a week at the Center - one day for chemo and one day for detox therapies and IV's. We will start with once a week for twelve weeks, then I'll do a scan to check progress and make a plan for what's next after that. 

I'm also going to start a medication that will unfortunately put me in "medical menopause" - it essentially puts the ovaries to sleep. This is a monthly injection. I know this will probably be one of the hardest and worst parts about treatment thus far, but it feels like a necessary evil since my cancer is fed by hormones. I have never been so confused or torn...estrogen is so important to bone health and brain health long term, yet in the short term and much more obvious concern, eliminating or reducing the estrogen circulating in my body will give it a chance to really fight this disease.

I'm extremely grateful that I'm able to work remotely as much as I can and take time to focus on healing. I wish every person going through this had a workplace as amazing and supportive as mine. 

My family did a GoFundMe that was such an incredible blessing as we continue to take on expenses for treatment. If you gave to that, I cannot thank you enough. I was truly blown away by the support from such a broad net of people. 

Please continue to pray - specifically for healing and discernment as I continue to figure out what the next three months will look like. We are praying God will provide a great option for free or affordable accommodations.