Hi all, Lori here (of course ;-))

I am bringing this Caring Bridge journal to a close with a link to the music / picture video that my friend Sally put together for Brian's Celebration of Life.  

https://youtu.be/N6zQ0DsLO1Y

Thank you Sally for all of the hard work on this and for all of the extra edits you did after the first iteration (which was a birthday surprise for Brian that he got to see)!  The video and accompanying music really shows the wonderful man that Brian was and how truly he was loved and how much he loved all of his family and friends.  

Thank you also to my sister Deb, daughter in law Jess, friends Brent, Debbie and Alex, and our niece Tanya for sharing your stories about Brian during the service. Thank you to my friend Kelly and niece Cathy for your readings of the obituary and Thessalonians 4:13-18.  Thank you Willie Grimm for the heartfelt messages and prayers and for guiding us through the service.  And, to all of the family and friends that put together the picture boards for the service - thank you! I was blessed to have all of you contribute to the celebration. You all came together to give Brian the tribute his life deserved. 

For those that were unable to attend the service, here is the message I shared during the service.

The early years

As I was putting final touches on my statements for today, I realized I hadn’t included any stories about Brian before he met me. So, I quickly jotted down a few that he used to share with me and others.

1. Brian was raised in Richfield, MN until the age of ___ where he loved to play baseball, hockey and ride his bike to the old Met stadium where he and friends would sneak into the Twins games.
2. When they moved to New Prague to the farm in St. Benedict (?) in ___, Brian and Hal quickly learned that NP kids did not play hockey and found they were the only ones at the local rink wearing hockey skates.
3. Although he loved all sports, Brian’s favorite was baseball where he excelled as a catcher.  He even tried out for the Twins baseball team, yes, the Major League one. He said he did well, except for one flaw – he couldn’t seem to throw the ball back to the pitcher!
4. His love of baseball continued through to is love for Softball, which is what led Brian to me.

I’m sure there are thousand stories about Brian’s youth and young adult hood.

I hope that some of you can share some stories with us later this evening.

The beginning

1. Brian and I met on a Saturday night, July 13, 1990 in my home town of Chisholm, MN at Tom and Jerry’s Bar surrounded by my friends and his softball buddies. It was a fairy tale beginning, love at first site. Then…Boy loses Girl’s number. Girl finds boy. Boy shares his story with Girl. Girl and Boy embrace and decide to give love a chance.
2. Every promise Brian made to me from that point forward came true.  His dedication and love for me never faltered and I adored him for it.

The middle

1. Early in our relationship, Brian said there were two things I could ‘never ask him to quit’
2. 1. Softball
   2. Working out
3. #1 led us to a lot of softball fields on beautiful summer days and nights. Softball was essentially our social life and we had a ton of fun, the teams won a few tournaments and both players and spectators alike drank some beer. Thank you God for always getting us home safe.  I think Brian would have played softball forever. To this day I can’t say he quit as he continued to play Co-Rec until Debbie got frustrated with corralling a team.
4. #2, As far as working out - that was a no-brainer!  He always felt better when he was able to make it to the gym for a work out.  But, for Brian, it never seemed like work.  He loved it!  It was his ‘hobby’. And, it made him feel good about himself, doing something good for his body and mind.  Before his diagnosis, he would routinely be approached by some random stranger who would ask ‘do you work out’? It became a little bit of an inside joke, but he always greeted the comment with a smile. He loved talking about his workout routine and would gladly invite you to the gym to work out with him anytime. And, some of you did.
5. Brian and I balanced each other out quite nicely as a couple, we were best friends, we loved doing things together including golfing, boating, listening to music or just sitting and reading.  He thoroughly enjoyed WWII non-fiction books.  We were really hoping to get back to DC to see the WWII memorial and museum.
6. Together we managed the family finances, shared the household duties (Brian always had floors 😊) and parented the boys. He loved coaching baseball and football when the boys were young and even with his hefty softball schedule, he always seemed to be there for the boys. He was a wonderful father.
7. However, I should tell you, Brian was not a GREAT disciplinarian. On more than one occasion after one of the boys was grounded (most likely for fighting and putting holes in the walls), I would come home and say ‘where is [Mike or BJ or Joe]’ and his answer ‘out with friends playing basketball or something’ to which I would say ‘he was GROUNDED’, to which Brian would say ‘for what? Or, ‘oh, I forgot – its ok, they were grounded long enough’… So being grounded for a week went to less than 24 hours…

He was always a loving father.

Brian and I were married on June 12, 1992 at the Scherrer flower gardens in Eagan. The ceremony was outdoors and was one of the hottest June days ever!  The family and friends at the event were sweltering, but we loved it!  Hot weather was our best friend!  We sweated, we laughed, we walked away as husband and wife and a ready-made family of 5. It was definitely a memorable wedding and was followed up with a honeymoon in Hawaii! We went to Pearl Harbor for a day and then had a beautiful week on Maui. We got rained on a lot, but were able to laugh our way through the obstacles (like the road to Hana) and had a great time. We always hoped we’d get to go back.

PROP (Sammy picture): Early in our marriage, we adopted our first and only dog, a black lab we named Sammy - also known as Samantha Stevens and yes, she bewitched us. Sammy was truly our fourth child, our little girl and we loved her for 15 years. She went EVERYWHERE with us, frisbee in tow. And when she couldn’t jump up into the Explorer anymore, Brian lifted her.

When Brian was deciding between getting a motorcycle or a boat, I said, ‘if we get a boat, Sammy can go with us whenever we take a ride. Can’t do that with a 60lb dog on a bike’. And thus, the first boat was purchased.

Brian loved being on the boat! Mostly we took it to Lake Marion for cruising, Cedar or Spring Lake for crappy and sunny fishing, Lake Winnibigosh for great Northern fishing, and we took it on the river for camping trips with friends. And of course, he loved taking the boat out on Whitefish, the lake Deb and Dave have their home on.  Fishing on Whitefish is a little tricky. Brian did catch a musky once. And, every once in awhile we’d find a hole with some nice crappies, but we mostly used the boat for cruising, looking at the other homes on the lake, waving at other boaters, listening to music, and hanging at the sandbar. Oh, and for tubing (when the little ones were there). 

How many people here know Brian is NOT a morning person?

Now, that doesn’t mean he sleeps in – oh no! he loves to be the first one up, but oh goodness, do not talk to him too early! Before Covid, our conversations before work in the morning were ‘Good morning’… and then an hour or so later ‘Good bye, I love you, See you tonight’. During Covid I got a little more out of him before he walked out the door, but not much.

After work was a different story. If it was a night we got to sit on the deck or sit indoors by the fire, he could be described as ‘a bit chatty’, sharing stories about his day, about trucks, about customers, about his co-workers, about random / potential customers who walked into his office and about who yelled at him that day. Brian didn’t like being yelled at and it seemed to help if he could vent to me. Brian also shared stories about customers he had worked with for many years, some of them very near and dear to his heart.  Brian loved his job and he was good at it. It was the main thing that helped with his ‘thought distraction’ during his illness.

1. Brian loved Thanksgiving. It was ‘our’ holiday to host the extended family and Brian loved it.  He would be up at the crack of dawn ready to drop the first turkey into the deep fryer by 9am.  No matter what the headcount, he always did 2 turkeys because he loved to be able to send turkey home with family and friends! Speaking of which, Brian had an open door policy when it came to Thanksgiving.  If you didn’t have somewhere to spend the day, you were invited to spend it with us.
2. Christmas was also special to Brian. Especially Christmas Eve.  He loved visiting early in the day with extended family, but when it came to the night time, Christmas Eve, that was our time.  Our time to spend with the 3 boys and eventually their 3 wives and eventually the 6. We opened gifts, we listened to Christmas music, we played games, we took pictures and we laughed.
3. Another event on the calendar that was special to Brian was our week at the lake. We made an effort to have a few days to ourselves so just the two of us could get in the fishing, cruising, music listening and other things that we liked to do together – like Mimosa Breakfast. When the kids started to arrive, he enjoyed taking the kids tubing, fishing, or just hanging in the yard and playing games.  The last time we all got to do that was 2018 when Brian turned 60.
4. Brian was very easy to please when it came to making meals especially if it involved grilling. If we were out though, the meal of choice was… chicken – grilled, not fried and chicken breast only please. 2nd choice for a meal out was a salad – his favorite being the oriental grilled chicken salad at Applebees, which he last had two weeks ago on his Birthday, August 3.
5. PROP (rock): Brian loved lemonade stands.  He could NOT pass by a lemonade stand.  And, even if they were only charging 25 cents, he gave them a dollar. The other day – on his birthday in fact when we were driving back from Applebees, there was a little stand on the corner about 3 blocks from home. I was driving and pulled up.  Brian asked the girls, ‘what are you selling? Do you have any lemonade?’ ‘We have packets of lemonade if you want to make your own’. What else do you have? We have rocks…  What is your favorite rock?  And, the girl walked up with this rock [display] and he said, wow that is nice – how much do you want for it? To which she said a nickel.  And, Brian proceeded to give her a dollar.
6. PROP: (dog treat) Family and friends all around (especially those in the neighborhood) knew that Brian was a dog lover.  He NEVER met a dog he didn’t like. If he didn’t have a dog treat on him, he went out of his way to get one. All dogs were his instant friends. Of course, his granddogs Izzy, Lola, Berkely, Morgan, Captain, Axel and Croix were his favorites and he always enjoyed having them around.
7. PROP (El-Ah): Brian also loved mechanical, singing stuffed animals. The collection started with Christmas stuffed, singing toys, but then gravitated to this very special elephant that our friend Sally introduced him to. This elephant quickly became the gift of choice for all new babies in the family and were Valentine’s Day gifts for the granddaughters that year. I hope Brian passed along the love of singing stuffed animals to the next generation. Play a bit of the El-Ah song.
8. PROP (shell): Once the boys had grown up and moved out, we decided we needed to travel, so we took trips to Cancun, Cozumel, Florida Keys, Fort Myers, New Smyrna, and Ormand Beach. Our favorite place though was anywhere on the Atlantic and our vacations there were always full of walks on the beach, which included finding the perfect shells (his pockets were usually full by the time we got back.  The Atlantic also provided some fun surprises: Spring break parties, random music concerts on nearby patios, deep sea fishing, Key West craziness (need I say more Hal / Kathy ).
9. One of the things we learned on our trips is ‘WE LOVE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE’. And, it is so easy! Just saying ‘hi, where are you from’ is such a great icebreaker!  In fact on our trip to Ft. Myers in March 2020 (yes, we snuck out right at the beginning of Covid), we asked that very question to a group by the hotel pool and they said ‘Minnesota’! No, Way, yup – where? Hastings! No kidding our son lives in Hastings. Really? Maybe I know him. I work at Duggies. What’s his name: Joe. Joe Stevens – Joe and Katie!? Yup no way! Yup, we need a picture!  And that’s how we met Tiffany!
10. Doing anything with Brian always seemed like a date night to me. He made me laugh – a lot!  He made me feel special – a lot. Just hanging at home listening to music on the deck, or relaxing next to each other on the couch watching a TV crime drama or the Twins, Viking or Wild games felt special. Of course, everything was on DVR.  Those that knew Brian really well knew NOT to divulge the score of any game at any time!

The end

As this is a celebration of life, I don’t want to dwell on the last 21 + months, but I do want to acknowledge them.

• They were tough. There was sadness. There was hope, there was despair. There were long drives to Rochester in the dark and the cold and the snow.  But also there were trips to and from Rochester where we watched the snow melt and the fields grow and we listened to music (country if you can believe that) and we talked and we laughed and we hoped and we prayed.
• The last 21+ months were also joyful and loving and filled with as much activity as we could possibly manage.  We renovated our kitchen, we bought a camper that we parked on Deb and Dave’s land, we planted gardens, we tore up our garage floor/foundation and renovated it, we went boating, we star gazed (and even saw the Space X / Starlink satellite train), we travelled, we spent time with family and friends and we even met new people.

Prop (Book): My goal since Brian’s diagnosis was to love him like crazy and to keep things as normal as possible. I gave him space when he needed it, but worked regularly to ease him out of his melancholy mood and into living life for today. One thing that helped in this regard was this book, Jesus Calling, a gift from our friend Mary Best. He read the daily message every day. Sometimes more than once. Sometimes we read it together.  It helped us look at the bigger picture and trust that God has a plan for each of us.  That’s why I know Brian is in Heaven.

Brian continued to work until the end. He continued to work out until the end. He continued to drink Bud Light until the end. And, in the end, he knew he was loved, not just by me, but by all of you. And that’s what matters most.

I like poems and so I wrote this poem for Brian: 

When I gaze at the stars, I see you.

You are the light, shining through.

When I hear the ocean, the waves at night.

You are the sound of strength and might.

When I feel the sunshine on my cheek each day,

You are the warmth of the passing ray.

Your smile, your charm, your funny ways,

will be remembered forever, every day.

I love you Brian. I miss you.