Brian was discharged from the hospital on Tues 1/23 and has done well from a cardiac standpoint. As he was discharged the difficulty he was having not sleeping in the hospital continued (and maybe worsened?) at home. With that so did the delirium accompanying it. I suspect it was most likely a mixed type with often a short period each morning for 1-2hrs feeling really well mentally and emotionally… and then a struggle the rest of the day of feeling all the emotions, tearful, irritable, etc. Alternating with scary long periods of flat affect, staring, and zero emotions and not great thoughts. Followed by period of emotion resuming and tears of the scary hours prior remembering thoughts and statements and then a dread of not sleeping again and the cycle continued. Thankfully, we were well plugged in with the heart center psychologist going home and have met with her twice in addition to messages and phone calls between. We did a FaceTime visit with a dear med school classmate & psychiatrist friend of mine who was helpful and so validating of it all. We have a wonderful PCP who has worked with psychology and psychiatry and gotten some meds started that helped immensely. With these Brian had been able to sleep consistently each night and is in a world of a different place. We are so darn grateful. 

As his delirium improved (I’ll optimistically say resolved?) he was able to start driving thanks to the sternal plates his surgeon uses and earlier return to activity. As a surgeon who is passionate about fast track protocols I loved this but even more so as a wife who got to watch her 44yo husband gain some independence and normalcy back. Getting in his new truck he had bought in December for some drives around the neighborhood and eventually to the store, his own appts and cardiac rehab. That one freedom and norm returned to him has meant a lot. And Brian was grinning as he described going to pick Alex up from school that Alex, too, was grinning ear to ear… “I’m just happy to see you Brian and see you happy driving your truck.” 

This week Brian had lab appts, psychology appt, PCP hospital followup, cardiac rehab orientation and then his first real cardiac rehab session yesterday. I was able to be at the early week appts since I worked the night shift that night when the appts fell pre/post call. His labs look pretty darn good, energy slowly getting there, and he’s already tapered down in the delirium med with a plan to go off next week. For now and the next 12 weeks cardiac rehab will consist of 3 sessions a week of monitored cardiac and strength workouts with the exercise physiologist and a class to follow. Brian’s got great short and long term goals to pick up Charlie in the next few weeks, travel as we’re able to, chip/putt/golf, and be able to graduate cardiac rehab jumping right over to the gym HIIT group classes he enjoys if cleared.  

It’s been a ride and in all honesty it’s been really hard. We’ve relied heavily on both of our parents, our siblings and their spouses,  neighbors, and friends. It’s been so helpful and made it doable and we’ve enjoyed many a yummy meal made or provided to us in some way. Alex has had play dates with several school friends and their families and he’s been a champ throughout this. Charlie got his first haircut yesterday, learned knucks as his new thing, and seems to be tolerating snuggling or sitting with dad for now without getting picked up. I made it thru a long weekend + overnight stretch of work, got caught up on charts, and asked for an extension on a grad program project due in the next few weeks… shedding some tears of relief when that was granted. This weekend with a weekend off all together we’re going to relax and soak it in. It’s been a hard few weeks and we are so thankful to be where we are, in a better place and together. The only thing we need now is snow. :) 

Andrea