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May 05-11

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I am officially on my last cycle of chemo today and tomorrow!  I'm dreading this week, as the chemo side-effects have been cumulative.  Meaning I feel a little worse for a little longer every time.  But I am still thanking God that so far I have not had any "serious" side-effects.

My oncologist told me today the plan is to see me 1 month from now, and then do another round of full body CT scans in 3 months.  I think this is to make sure that I am in remission.  I would sure appreciate continued prayers that I truly am in remission (or healed totally in Jesus' name) and that I have a long (even permanent) remission of the cancer.  

Speaking of "side-effects"...I have been reflecting on them lately and something about the nature of suffering.  I have spent so much time on this journey being afraid of and trying to stay out in front of "side-effects" of chemo.  But not all side effects are negative.  Fatigue, nausea, vomiting, fever are all side effects.  But who would have guessed that joy, love, opportunities, greater trust and dependence on Jesus, and greater awareness of how much I am loved are also side effects?  As Job said, "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, may the name of the Lord be praised."  Sometimes we don't realize He is doing both at the same time: Giving and taking away.  Every event of suffering in our lives contains both.  Death and Resurrection are often side by side if we have spiritual eyes to see with.
 

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