a year ago today my life changed forever. riding my motorcycle to work on what was the last nice day of fall, a car turned in front of me as I entered an intersection. I had no time to react. the impact forced the front wheel to turn to the right, pushing the handlebar in the same direction. as my body was ejected from the motorcycle, the handlebar took out 4 inches (10cm) of my right femur, and then I flew 120 feet (40m) through the air before landing on my pelvis and arms.
I remember certain parts of the accident, but not all of it - and I have no desire to remember more. I am told I was conscious the entire time I was in the hospital, though I don’t remember much at all from ICU. but once I started remembering things again (about two weeks later), it was then I came to understand the extent of the damage. I learned that I nearly died. I had already had a number of surgeries and was queued up for more. I couldn’t move (I was only allowed to put weight into my right elbow; it didn’t matter as I was so wrapped up and in so much pain). the trauma of the incident is something I am still processing - there was so much pain and so much happening that it was impossible to fully comprehend all of it, and it still feels like a daunting and imposing task.
but it is one year later, and I am still here. 74 days in the hospital, and 20 surgeries. my body has healed in a remarkable way. I am already doing many things that I wasn’t sure I would ever do again. of course, there are still other things I struggle with, but I have to remind myself that it has only been a year. while many things can happen in that time frame, healing bones is not something that can be rushed.
when everything in your life changes in an instant, and when virtually all that you know has been taken away, it leaves you with some very stark options. in the earliest days of my memory after the accident, despite being in the worst moment of my life, I chose to be happy. from that decision, I found true happiness which initiated a complete new interpretation of life and what is important. I hope to share more about that journey with you in the near future. but for right now, I am content to just be.
