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May 12-18

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Addison is still here. I didn't mean to confuse everyone by my post yesterday. However she will 90% sure end up not making it. We picked up a DNR form last night and are looking it over to see if and what we want to do with it. Yesterday was really hard. She had a bad episode in the morning that took her 2hrs to recover and then she had another one at around 6pm when we were there. Zack is taking it really hard because he has never seen her have an episode until last night. I on the other hand, well let's just say this is old news for me. The hardest thing for both of us is that I am normally at the hospital everyday and am able to see how she is doing and leave the hospital miserable everyday. He obviously has to work so he tries to see her a couple times at night throughout the week and then the weekends. I guess what I am trying to say is is that I have always had it in the back of my head that she won't end up making it home where he was pretty set on her eventually coming home. 

Over the night she had no episode! Not that I am getting excited because I always let myself down when something "good" happens. It's short lived and then something worse follows. I would love to have a miracle happen to where all of a sudden shes just sick of being sick and heals and is able to come home. Wishful thinking I know but it's not easy thinking about having to potentially have a funeral for your baby. 

Her baptism went great. She had her eyes open all day yesterday which we havent seen in I couldn't tell you how long. I'm not sure what the lord was trying to tell us yesterday but it was sure hard looking at her with her eyes open and having to think about making a decision. 

I will keep you all updated once I have more news. For now prayers for a HUGE miracle is the only thing we need. If the lord decides hes going to take her (deep breath) we will eventually be okay with it too.

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