It's hard to believe that our sweet Antonia is two weeks old already!  It's been a couple weeks full of adjustments, that's for sure!

Even though I'm home, Tom has still been single-parenting quite a bit, especially in the beginning when I was dealing with a lot of pain.  I'm not supposed to drive at all yet, but I've drive a couple of blocks this week.  I find that I take all the bumps EXTRA slow!  And driving even two blocks leaves me feeling exhausted afterwards.

My pain is minimal now.  If I turn or twist a certain way, I have some discomfort where the tubal surgery took place.  My incision site is nearly pain free-- unless I cough or sneeze, of course!

Nursing has been both challenging and rewarding.  With Henrik, I nursed about two weeks, while supplementing with formula.  I also ended up with post-partum depression, and that, along with stress of having a preemie, led to poor milk production.  The depression had led me to feel like a failure-- like I couldn't nourish my own child.  Once my meds were adjusted and we got Henrik on the right kind of formula, that mindset changed drastically!  With Helena, I ended up in the hospital when she was 9 days old, and my supply plummeted.  I was exhausted and just wanted to nourish my baby, so I made the decision to cease nursing Helena and go full-time formula.  Little Miss Antonia astonished nurses, lactation consultants, and the like with her ability to nurse from the moment she was born.  She was just so tiny and tired that she'd fall asleep nursing and stop.  Two weeks later and the girl is a nursing machine!  I have found it's an exhausting way to nourish a tiny human being-- especially when a growth spurt hits, like it did this week!  There were a couple nights where Mommy didn't get much sleep at all.  But with all its challenges, it's been the most rewarding feeling to know that God did indeed give me the ability to nourish my child with my own milk.  The challenge has been that there have been many days where Antonia wants to sleep with me or just snuggle, so not a lot gets done.  But I guess that's the point of maternity leave, right? 😉 

God has blessed us with a precious, little girl that I never imagined we'd have in our family.  As I've been reminded again this week how precious life is, I hold Antonia a little tighter and give thanks to God for bringing her through all the obstacles of this past year.  He kept her safe from Fifth's Disease when Helena was diagnosed with that back in May.  God kept her safe from the MRSA that all of us had to eradicate ourselves and our home of.  God brought me to the doctor in the nick of time when I was laboring and had no idea of it.  God made sure she stayed put until the perfect time.  

So even though I don't get to shower or bathe as often as I'd like.... Even though my food isn't always hot and fresh....  Even though my energy is still VERY low from recovering from two major surgeries....  Even though our sweet 4-year-old is having difficulty adjusting.... I look around and thank God for the crazy, chaotic, messy home and family I have.  He has been more than good to us.  He has been gracious and merciful.

Thank you to all of you for your continued prayers!  Thank you for all the cards and notes of sweet, caring words!  Now that we are two weeks into the chaos we call "life," we are feeling more at ease and ready for visitors.  Thank you for being so respectful of this time.  Henrik is doing well, but he also started back to school this week, which has been an adjustment.  Helena will go back to preschool next week.  And she has really been struggling.  She loves her new sister very much, but Helena has developed some pretty trying tantrums.  With time they will get better.  So thank you for respecting our wishes as we have tried to help our older children become more adjusted.  

I have a follow-up appointment next week in Sioux Falls.  So I will try to update again following that.  I'm trying hard to keep up with a weekly update for now.  But some days all I get done is nursing, sleeping, and cuddling Antonia.  So it all depends on her demeanor!  May you all have a most blessed evening!  Thanks again for your love and support!