Since my last post we have celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years without Aidan.  Nick and I both agreed that Christmas was way harder than Thanksgiving but neither were easy. He is always on my mind but on the holidays it's exemplified.  Constant lump in your throat and at any second you might just break down.  Tears were shed and we had to explain to the kids that we are so excited to spend the day with them but it is a hard day for us now because we would love for Aidan to celebrate too.  And I'm just so amazed with Cadence.  She truly is wise beyond her years.  She said Aidan was probably celebrating with Jesus because "it is His birthday after all!"  So we made sure to sing happy birthday to Jesus on Christmas Day. Also, one of her gifts to me was one of Aidan's ninja turtles wrapped in a box.  She said she knew I wanted Aidan with us this Christmas so she gave him to me, and cue the water works.  I don't know why it was Aidan's time to go but I do know that God blessed us with three more children and they are helping us deal with this tragedy.  

The kids had a lot of fun celebrating Christmas with both sides of the family and Christmas Day at home.  Santa brought them Orbeez, iPad, many trucks, and teething toys for Charlie.  Lastly, Santa left a note with a picture of a trampoline.  The note stated that it was to remember Aidan since he loved the trampoline park. Our Elf on the Shelf, Elfie, will deliver it when the weather is warmer.  Little did we know it was going to be 60 on Christmas Day! 

Last New Years I remember telling Nick that 2019 was going to be Aidan's year.  He was born on the 19th and I just felt like this was the year big things were in store for him.  I meant he was going to get better and "be saved" however God chose to save him in another way.  So as we enter this year I have no expectations.  Just take it day by day and treasure time with those I love and continue to create memories with my family.  I don't feel the need to go into this year "to become a new me" because the old me has survived every terrible day, every hard thing I had to go through, and every heartbreak I felt.  The old me is a fighter.  I'm going to celebrate that and continue to be a fighter for me and my kids.  

So as I wrap it up, we wouldn't have gotten through the last several years without our family and friends.  You were there for us in the beginning and continued on the journey with us.  Even though his story did not end the way any of us thought it would, you have remained by our sides.  With all that we are going through it does not escape us to know how blessed we truly are.   Thanks again for the love and support, especially during the holidays, whether it was keeping us busy with festivities or checking in on us.  It does help so thank you!!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from our family to yours.