Hey!

It feels like its been a looooong 2 weeks. Although I am taking this "step by step" , every step feels like it take a million years.  On Friday, I got a call to book my surgery in Kelowna.  Dec 15th.  A part of me is happy. I mean, its 36 days away. I can prepare.  But, also I'm really sad. Obviously, this is scary surgery. It's major. I've never had surgery before. I have no idea I'm preparing  for so there is the fear of the unknown.  My hospital stay is estimated at a week (if all goes well). and then there's the long journey home...which means, I'll be home Christmas Eve.   I'm sad Christmas won't be the same, I'll be drugged up on pain killers watching my kids open presents. Or what If I need to stay a bit longer... I'll miss it. or Christmas will be delayed.  Or maybe there will be 2 Christmas...or maybe we celebrating Christmas every day for the next 36 days.  I normally don't decorate till December 22nd, or 23rd, or 24th. Because I'm always so busy knitting last minute Christmas orders. This year it's different. This year I hung my pink wreath on my door (made for me by my amazing friend Denise) . Tomorrow I'll find my pink Christmas lights. Its gonna be a Pink Christmas because why not?!? I'm also gonna buy an advent calendar (probably a barbie one) and I'm gonna eat all chocolate right away because I can. Also, the more snacks I eat, the bigger my new boobs will be sooooo... bring on ALL THE SNACKS!

In my efforts to get "prepared" I bought alot of sweatpants, PJs. and some unicorn slippers because priorities.   I made a list of other stuff I gotta bring... but I'll chip away at the slowly because that list isn't as exciting as new sweatpants.

I'm keeping myself busy and I refuse to go down the rabbit hole of anxiety. Its tough. But I got this. Anxiety comes at night mostly, so I'm learning to go bed early. As a person who night owl. this is tough but, I feel so rested I almost don't know what to do with myself.

The one thing that bugs me the most is that because of the pandemic I'll be facing surgery alone. No one will be allowed in the hospital with me. I wish that would change in the next 36 days but, it really doesn't appear that way. I suppose as long as I have my laptop, my phone, an internet connection and hospital ice ( the best kind of ice for chewing EVER) I'll be okay. I'll be like a mini vacay where I get new boobs, a tummy tuck, and some good drugs. Oh, and I hope to be cancer free by the end of my Vacation.

Although the C word has turned my world upside down, I've feel incredibly loved and supported. I have so so much to live for, and I feel really strong.

So many people continue to ask for what I need, or what they can help with. It's such a hard question to answer but for now, I'll try to answer the best I can.

  There  is a "ways to help" tab on my caring bridge site...I'll try to  keep that updated with any request.

 My parents are arriving in a few weeks for an extended stay at my house to help with the kids, and the  household duties.

Rita, and Diana have set up a go-fund me for those who wanted to help travel expenses, thank you to all those who supported. I am incredibly grateful. 

I am focusing hard on taking care of myself and focusing on healing and positivity.  If you have suggestions for funny shows or movies I would love to hear them. After all,  they say laughter is the best medicine. 

I have received alot of encouraging words, cards, heart felt notes, and  drawings. I'll be compiling it all in scrapbook to bring me with to the hospital for those days when I need some extra love. If you want to send something for the scrapbook, ( letter, cards, memories of us, photos, drawings ect. )  you can mail them to

Ashlee Lackovic

box 706

Elkford, BC, Canada.

V0B 1H0

or email ashleelackovic@icloud.com

I'll try to update as much as possible through this journey ( either through my own words, or Rita will be updating on my behalf) and I hope it can inspire someone someday to have the courage to get themselves checked and have those regular doctors appointments.

Lots of Love

Ash