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May 05-11

This Week

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It’s been a long time since I’ve posted to this site. As most of you know, Asa completed his 4th round of chemo the end of March.  It was a very tough round and really took a toll on his kidneys. Thankfully we were able to get them back to normal levels with fluids vs a hospital stay.   His scan was also the end of the month.  We had to wait 7 agonizing days.  For those who do not fully understand the emotions of waiting on scan results, let me tell you.  It’s truly tough.  Yes we are to have faith & put it into the Lords hands, but friends until you’ve walked this road you just won’t understand the struggle of waiting.  Waiting to hear, we’re sorry your son still has live disease and we must continue treatment or.. we’re sorry, your child’s cancer is back and is more agressive.  Or.. great news your child’s cancer is now considered dead and we are in remission.  There’s a lot of different scenarios that can take place with scan results.. and you just trust me when I say.. its excruciating and emotionally draining.  

Our family was blessed.  We heard.. GREAT NEWS, your son is now cancer free.  Bring on the tears of joy, tears of relief.   But also.. for this mom.. tears of guilt.  Tears of why is my son cancer free, but these other kids who are battling right beside him still struggling.  Why did my son get healed, yet others that we have prayed for have now succumbed to this awful disease?  It makes no sense to me & I’ve wept almost daily over the fact that we have friends who have longed to hear those words, yet they still carry on with their battle.  I’m not God.  I don’t understand His ways.  Nor will I ever understand.  I just know, it has been the hardest thing to watch & handle.  

We have another EKG & surgery next week and then we are finished until more scans in July.  

Asa is so glad to be going back to school.  As most are ready for it to be over, he is wishing for it to be longer.  I think some don’t truly appreciate what you have until it’s gone.  So we continue day by day & moment by moment allowing him to enjoy the last 6 weeks of his 8th grade year.

I’ll write more later.  There’s so many things I want to share as to what Asa & I have learned about ourselves.  Until next time...

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