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May 05-11

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Update on family of Anne Michel.
   It's been two years since we lost sweet Anne. Looking back, I see the last post I did on our grief journey was the 18 month mark.
    I've read that the deepest, darkest part of the grief valley is 6 to 18 months after the loss. It's not that on the other side of those 18 months the grief is gone, but it becomes less painful, and we are more able to carry on. There are still moments, and tears, but they are spread out. It's not a constant ache, but a steady longing, a carryable weight. And the times of joy become more common.
   This has held true for me. Not speaking for the kids. Just me. But life is becoming joyful again. Some good things have happened. I'm able to carry on, with Thanksgiving for all the gifts Anne was to us. 
   I've turned the pain into something useful, using what I've been through to help friends who have lost a spouse, a hiking buddy who lost his strong, fighting spirit wife, a good friend who lost her husband one memory at a time to Alzheimers. Done a funeral or two, even preached without worrying that I'd break down. 
   And life goes on. Love carries on. New chapters are written.
   Thank you, sweet Anne, for being more than we deserved, for loving others more than any of us deserved. I know you wanted me to find joy again. I think I see it coming. I'm finding hope again.

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