I haven't posted anything here in over a month because I'm so mentally done with this arduous journey that I don't always feel like I have extra energy to devote to thinking about it long enough to create a post worth reading. Tonight, however, I can't sleep, so a post it is!

First of all, a tiny celebration is in order because today I am 75% done with my Taxol infusions! I still have four more to go before the Taxol drops off and I am only on Herceptin, but that's a darn better place to be as compared to when this all began.

Secondly, side effects: Every day is different, but some of the persistent side effects I'm experiencing are continuous, daily nasal inflammation and bleeding (thank you, Herceptin), dry itchy skin (thank you, Taxol), persistent insomnia, even with rx meds, restless legs (only on the night after an infusion), no more period it seems, and continued nausea and intermittent constipation or diarrhea. Sorry if that's TMI, but it's the reality of this disease and its treatments.

As of late, I've also been more stressed out, anxious and depressed than usual, not to a clinical degree or anything, but just a little down and nervous. It's strange because for months I've been totally fine with the diagnosis, spending my days and nights doing my normal stuff as much as possible with lots more help from Kris at home. Now, though, it feels like I just got the call with my diagnosis. It is almost as if I'm going through the entire emotional processing insanity all over again, starting from scratch, which I do not enjoy, but such is the reality of a diagnosis this heavy; I suppose.

Going to work helps the depression and anxiety because it gives me something to focus on outside of all this, and that is a huge blessing, as is working with a staff full of supporting superheroes who have all been so wonderful throughout this experience. They deserve trophies... or gift cards to Pappa's Steakhouse in Houston... or all-inclusive trips to Belize.

Believe it or not, my insomnia pills seem to be kicking in, so I'm going to take this opportunity to put down the phone and enjoy some shut-eye before waking up in five hours to get to work.

I hope you have all had a blessed day. Thank you to infinity and beyond for all your support through this. Love to you all, and God bless!