Hey everyone,

I'm attempting to write a short update here; we'll see how this goes... I'm back to working full time which is a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I'm doing what I love and my brain feels awake again, but I'm really pushing myself harder than I should be. I recently flew out to Austin, TX for work with some colleagues (& had a great time eating BBQ, seeing a show at Joe Rogan's new comedy club, and shooting some killer videos) but by the time I got back home my ankles were swollen from edema and my neuropathy was screaming so loud I could barely sleep. It's difficult for me not to put 110% of my effort into my work; I'm just wired that way. So, the most difficult part is learning to take breaks, pull on the reins, and listen to my body. I'm working on it; I know it's important.

Cancer-wise, things continue to trend in the right direction. Most of the important metabolic numbers that matter, in terms of being "healthy" or "normal," are returning to my pre-cancer levels. Though I'm glad to hear those results, I unfortunately don't feel good or healthy right now. I feel sick. I mean, hell, I am sick.

My daily meds have made my insides feel like a lava lamp; or better yet like a child's homemade chemistry experiment uncontrollably bubbling over as I add more pills to the pot. My brain is foggy at times and I'll feel like a lost child in a grocery looking for my parents with the confusing sounds of jazz saxophone blaring over the loudspeaker. And I'm clumsy now, which can be dangerous for a 6'4" 270lbs guy. Fell into the wall the other day when I stepped on one of Andie's toys. Smh, what can you do ha! What's the saying... "big trees fall hard?"  I'll also randomly get overwhelmed by this weighted blanket of lethargy followed by a sparking burst of engine pumping energy. I'm riding the weight fluctuation rollercoaster and I feel like an overfilled water balloon thrown haphazardly into a briar patch... Man, fuck cancer.

I've just got to keep pushing forward. It's just so hard to ignore the nagging of my aches and pains.

Here... Enjoy some Anders Osborne instead of listening to me bitch and moan. The guitar solo (@4:12) in this song is epic and I can relate to the lyrics today.

Grind on. Hone the blade. I'll be sharper for it tomorrow.

-Andrew

"Yeah, I try to read the big book but I can't see the words
Every time I meditate the whole thing's a blur
Panic attack, short of breath
I try to get things done when my body needs to rest"

- Lyrics from "Mind of a Junkie" by Anders Osborne