This week has been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I started the week feeling very sorry for myself and upset about my condition. Having this terrible rash doesn't help as it makes me feel very self-conscious and ugly. It's gotten much worse this week. Ts on my face, neck, behind my ears on my back and on my scalp. It hurts to even brush my hair. They've now put me on antibiotics and a steroid cream to help. 

Lucky for me, I have people that helped me get out of my funk and get back to being my positive self. I've been visualizing my surgery all week. Thinking about all of the details....the people talking to me, wheeling me down the hallway, the doctors doing the procedure, their feeling of success and accomplishment, all the way down to the color of the scrubs the doctors and nurses are wearing. My vision includes having a successful surgery with the best possible outcome. As much as I'm dreading having another surgery, I can't help but feel excited as well. It's been almost a year since we discovered this new tumor and I am grateful to finally be getting rid of it. 

I'm feeling very loved and supported this week. I've received flowers and books and so many encouraging messages. There are not enough words to express my gratitude 🙏

I will be admitted to the hospital on Sunday to start a heparin infusion to help coagulate my blood prior to surgery. Monday I will be lucky enough to have a clear liquid diet! Then surgery will be on Tuesday! The hardest part will be waiting on the pathology report to come back. 

Something I can't express enough is to make sure you have doctors that you trust and look out for your well being. It took me 4 months to get in to see my surgeons and it was well worth the wait. And a special shout out to my oncologist, Dr. Nayak. He is always extremely responsive and makes calls on my behalf from his perso al cell phone. He even gave me a hug today and wished me luck for next week!