Alysha’s Story

Site created on November 5, 2019

Girl Interrupted – Alysha’s Diagnosis Railroads Aspiring Nursing Career

A Story of Strength and Independence

 

I used to feel strong, that I knew what I was doing, and that I had a plan, and now I feel lost, the only plan and force I had got taken away from me. I feel weak now, like I’m a baby. It takes away YOU. I had worked hard for my life and I was getting it and in days I lost it. In one sentence; you kind of know, but then they say, “You have cancer.”  I’m 25.  How do I have cancer? I’m healthy.

 

My journey began in…

March. I had pain and tightness in my chest when breathing and was admitted to hospital. Pericarditis was a possible diagnosis (fluid around the heart). It was drained with a paracardial infusion. This is how my journey began. The doctors said that they don’t know the cause in 1 in 3 cases, and I went home. I had no idea how my life was going to change and poured all of my energies into my nursing studies.

 

In August the pain came roaring back. I spent 2 days, then 5 days, then 5 more days in the hospital. The fluid on my heart came back twice, it was drained twice. Every test was coming back clean. “It must be a virus,” they said. I felt tired and defeated. I felt frustration at whatever this was interrupting school. I was in my second last semester of Registered Nursing at University of Lethbridge. My professors were very understanding and helpful, but my whole semester was being interrupted.

 

In September it was decided to leave the drain in for the weekend when the pain sent me to emergency again. The fluid was back. “Rest. Take it easy.” Were my instructions. I could attend classes but couldn’t keep working. I had to keep the stress down.

 

October is the month for me where life as I knew it would never be the same. Stabbing back pain, a trip to the ER, the discovery of nodules on my lungs, so many tests, a chest CT, chest x-ray, endoscopic, a mass on the back of my heart, an ambulance from Lethbridge to Calgary, the possibility of open heart surgery.

 

I was overwhelmed with how fast things were moving, worried about surgery interfering with school, lots of tears, communicating with my parents, friends, my stomach was in my throat, like being on a plunging rollercoaster, suddenly everything is different. I had things to arrange, pets, my partner’s work, school, home, rent, roommates, car, sleeping, staying, letting my parents know when I was going to arrive, my family arriving at the hospital. There was a lot of uncertainty.

 

No longer do I measure these events in months, but now days and hours. Hurry up and wait.

 

Friday - about a dozen invasive and painful tests.  

Saturday – a bone scan on my knee. It’s my 25th birthday. “What’s wrong with my knee?”  The WORDS that shifted my reality; the resident said, “It’s most likely cancer that has spread to your bones, but we won’t know for sure until the biopsy.”

Monday – I phoned my aunt to come to Calgary. My mom was going to need support.

Tuesday - bone scan. Nick had to call my mom. She could hear me crying, it was probably cancer, but we didn’t know for sure. The biopsy was to be done right away. Another painful procedure; the biopsy from my lung. We had to WAIT again; 24-48 hours for these results.

Thursday - Stage 4 cardiac angiosarcoma. Nick was with me. My family by my side soon after. I got news of cancer and acceptance of my desired preceptorship spot the same day. I’d worked so hard to get that spot. I’d have to let my spot go. Kicked when you’re down, happy f*n birthday to me. Life as I knew it is over.

Friday - the oncologists would meet on Monday to determine my treatment plan.

 

How do you take stuff like this in? My life crashed in front of my eyes; stage 4, spread from the original spot through my body.

 

Monday - the doctors shared my treatment plan. It is a very rare cancer.

Tuesday - I started Chemotherapy. I started Chemo on a Tuesday. This is my new normal; chemo on Tuesdays. Blood work Mondays. Clinic at the hospital on Mondays. I’m on oxygen and have a portable tank. The tank lasts an hour and a half.

 

I DON’T WANT CANCER TO DEFINE WHO I AM.

 

Life adjustments so far: Nick and I have had to pick up our lives and move to Calgary. We had to find temporary homes for our dogs. Nick is trying to transfer his office location to Calgary because I have to be near the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. Nick’s employer has been a huge supporter. For now, I have moved back home. I am struggling with the loss of independence and having to depend on people again; for driving me, for monitoring my pain medications, but most of all I am grieving the interruption to achieving my nursing degree. My written request for allowance for partial completion of my semester was denied.

 

Effect on my family: It’s really hard. I’ve always been strong for the people around me. Watching them hurt because I’m not well breaks my heart. You feel like a burden. They know I’m strong but now I feel weak, but now their daughter has lost part of who she is because I literally physically am not strong, and now I need to ask for help. It’s not just my life that’s changed, it’s everyone’s life around me. Not just my life, Nick’s life, my mom’s life. The worst part is going from completely healthy to not. I barely even got sick as a kid. 

Newest Update

Journal entry by Nik Jandl

                             Alysha Danielle Ramus

 
October 19, 1994 – July 15, 2020                            
 
Our dearest daughter, sister, auntie, friend, and partner was ready to go where the wind would take her. Alysha’s spirit was strong, but her body succumbed to a rare cancer on July 15th, 2020 wrapped in the arms of her family listening to Be Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw and reading poetry from Perseverance by Margaret J. Wheatley.
 
Alysha was born in Terrace BC, grew up in Calgary, and completed her Bachelor of Nursing Degree in Lethbridge. Alysha was fiercely independent. She didn’t feel bad or pressured to be who she wasn’t. Who she was, was loving, always kind, and compassionate. She was the glue that brought people together and was really good at moving people out of their comfort zones. She wanted everyone to experience their inner childhoods. Alysha taught you to feel your feelings, let down your walls and let people in. She was so good at making you feel proud of yourself and fostering your independence.
 
This kind, encouraging and positive attitude never left Alysha even while she battled one of the rarest cancers in the world. She made people better. Nurses came looking for her, and she had an inspiring and authentic relationship with Dr. Omar Khan, her oncologist who worked tirelessly to battle the winds of change and give Alysha more time in this world. Alysha’s family will forever be grateful. 
 
Alysha was one of those people who truly saw you. She knew your name. With her perceptive brown eyes, she’d look right at you, take time to acknowledge you; offer a smile.
 
Alysha was a healer. She was awarded a position to volunteer in Africa as a nursing student where she was moved by the generosity and openness of the people she met. People took her in like family. One of her goals was to return to Africa as a registered nurse.
 
Few people, if any could have worked as hard as Alysha did to achieve her dreams. She wanted to be able to help people and felt that goal would help her. Her cancer threw a lot of obstacles in her path but with the support of her family, Dr. Omar Khan, and Dr. Shannon Spencely from the University of Lethbridge, Alysha convocated March 11, 2020. Convocation Ceremony. https://globalnews.ca/news/6666871/calgary-woman-with-terminal-cancer-graduates-with-nursing-degree/
 
Alysha’s personality was a product of herself. She had so many different ways of being creative. Alysha loved to dance, competing in Irish Dance and as a country ballroom dancer, qualified for the World’s Dance Competition in Nashville. She was a cross-stitcher, quilter, gamer and avid reader. She got her dad roller-skating, her family and friends hiking and brought many of us together over game nights. Alysha loved: Disney, dinosaurs, Lego, puzzles, ordering in food, big TVs, cheap movie nights and movie theatre popcorn.
 
Alysha not only helped people grow she walked dogs, rescued pets, and rehomed them. She volunteered at the Lethbridge Humane Society. She focused her attention on those cats and dogs that needed more love than most, texting everyone she knew, to find them a forever home and worked hard to build a relationship with Nibby the cat who wouldn’t let anyone touch her. Nibby’s at home with Alysha’s mom. 
 
Alysha leaves behind to mourn: her mom and dad Michelle and Ken Ramus, her brother Zachery and his partner Tianna, and nephew Keegan, her sister Paige and nieces Kennedy and Raelynn, as well as Alysha’s partner Nik, her Grandpa Bud, and a great many aunties, uncles, cousins, and friends. Alysha was our knight in shining armour when we didn’t know we needed it. She was my best friend.
 
Flowers are lovely, but Alysha’s wishes were for people to get out to the mountains, be in nature and experience them there. As Alysha’s final gift is to donate her body to science so that someone else can beat the cancer that beat her, she has asked that donations be made to The Angiosarcoma project instead. (Link will be added soon)
 
Raven, Teach Me to Ride 
The Winds of Change
 
Perch where the wind comes at you full force.
Let it blow you apart till your feathers fly off and
you look like hell.
Then abandon yourself.
The wind is not your enemy.
Nothing in life is.
 
Go where wind takes you
higher    lower
backwards
 
The wind to carry you forward will find you
when you are ready.
 
When you can bear it.
 
Margaret Wheatley
 
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