Below is the eulogy written for my mom’s funeral. I wanted to share these words for anyone who wants to come back and visit them in the future. 

My mom never wanted anyone to feel sorry for her; she didn’t want to be the cause of any sadness. When she was first diagnosed with cancer she could tell my dad was sad, a perfectly normal reaction to such news. She told him not to be sad and when he replied he couldn’t do that she muttered back, with great sass, well then you’re just going to have to fake it. So before we move forward I’m going to need each of you to fake a little happiness on her behalf. 

Growing up there is a phrase we weren’t allowed to use in our household: ‘it’s not fair.’ If you let these words slide you were promptly met by my dad’s reply of ‘life isn’t fair.’ 

In July of 2020 my mom’s diagnosis unraveled. Everything I read was most definitely not good and in my mind we had a few very hard months left. 

I wanted to scream, scream that none of this was fair. 

It wasn’t fair that my mom was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer and it wasn’t fair that at the moment of diagnosis we all knew we wouldn’t have her here as long as we wanted.  

Throughout the next several months this phrase that made me angry when I was younger, that promptly ended a conversation and sent me stomping away began to comfort me. 

Life isn’t fair. 

Over the past 54 years each of us had the opportunity to know, love and be loved by such an incredible soul that was and is Allison Ewert. It isn’t fair- not everyone is blessed with a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend who makes saying goodbye or ‘see you soon’ this terribly hard. 

We didn’t get a few hard months. We got 2 1/2 incredible, family filled, adventurous years. 2 1/2 years of truly appreciating every moment. During this time there were numerous lake trips and trips to Manhattan and St. Louis. She traveled to California, Branson, Mexico, New Orleans, Connecticut, Colorado, Austin, Mexico again, Springfield, Rhode Island, Colorado again, Europe, North Carolina and Marco Island- a whopping five times- all with friends and family. 

Most of these trips were taken alongside my dad, the absolute love of her life. They soaked up every sun filled day especially when it could be spent on the dock, a beach or with a beer in hand at a local brewery. Their love for each other has been a shining example for us all. During the hardest of days my dad was right by her side. I have loved watching him love and care for her. What a testament to ‘in sickness and in health’.

Over the past 2 1/2 years, she watched Jon and I start our first jobs. She was there as we moved to St. Louis, got married and built a house. We had the opportunity of telling her she was going to become a grandma and moments before she passed announced our sweet baby’s name, Charles Robert- Charlie. 

My mom watched Abby fulfill her dream of becoming a city girl. Abby started nursing school, graduated from nursing school, started a job at Children’s Mercy and entertained my mom with the stories of her sweet and sassy patients. She watched her become dog mom to Mae aptly named after Auntie Mae’s where my mom proudly bartended during her college years.

Matt, her baby, started dating Christy whom my mom adores. He became a cat dad to Zoboomafoo. She threw the grandest of kitten baby showers for her newest grand kitten. Matt graduated from K-State and was accepted into his dream school in North Carolina. She was able to visit with my dad and watch him work a soccer game at UNC Asheville.

I don’t mean to list our accolades but it is these moments she truly lived for and there is no place she would have rather been than walking right beside us. 

Holy cow… what a past few years these have been. I didn’t even mention the day to day events during this time. As we all know my mom made even the most ordinary of days special. There is no one who could pull a theme or surprise out of her pocket or party closet quite like her. 

She was kind, loving, spunky and sassy. She loved to no avail and was THE BIGGEST and LOUDEST cheerleader around. My mom never met a stranger and was therefore always surrounded by friends.

Thank you to each of you here today and to all those who couldn’t be here but played a role in my mother’s life and in her care. Thank you to her wonderful team at Olathe Medical Center. She adored each and every member of her medical team. 

Thank you for the outpouring of love and support during the past few years and especially during this past week.

Life isn’t fair. Would fair have meant this illness took her sooner? Would fair have meant she endured a more typical course of stage 4 disease riddled with pain and suffering?

I cannot express my gratitude for every minute of time we had that maybe we shouldn’t have gotten.